We all know that feeling… the feeling when you meet someone in real life whom you have already “know” through Instagram, Facebook, their blog, their book, etc.
I think often times connecting an online presence with a tangible being reveals how, despite how familiar a person seems to you because you follow them online, you still don't really know them. It’s like when you finally meet your favorite singer, Youtuber, or blogger in real life. It’s a weird feeling - connecting a username to a laugh, a touch, a vibe.
If it’s someone you really admire, it’s surreal - like you never even pictured them being a real person. I think there's something special in knowing someone’s distinct smell, the way their right tooth is just a little crooked, or the way they stutter their words when their nervous. I think there is something special in really getting to know someone in ways that you can’t over the phone.
There are many times when I have thought someone was so cool and hip and interesting by their social media and then was disappointed by their persona in real life. Even more common for me are times when I make a negative judgment of someone by their social media and then am surprised by how nice of a person they are. Even just writing this sounds ignorant and silly, but it’s something that happens all the time.
Should I really be surprised about who someone is in real life after judging only by their social media? With the prevalence of online personas today, is it t a valid way to judge someone? I guess the answer depends on the person.
These are thoughts are ones that are all too common for me. As a blogger, writer, online store owner, and social media user, I get feelings of impostorism all the time: when I post a snapchat even though I just wrote a blog post about how most snapchats are just people trying to prove something. When I go to a party even though I just wrote about how I don’t find fulfillment from partying. When I let a sexist, homophobic joke slide without saying anything, even though I just wrote about how important it is to stand up for what I believe in.
The question presses: what do Instagrams with captions about equality for all really mean do if you don't actually treat everyone the same in every single manner? What does participating in a Women's March really mean if you're not going to stand up for yourself when a cute guy says a slightly demeaning comment?Can we really call an online presence a more true representation of our beliefs, opinions and feelings than the person we are day to day?
There are so many people that I know follow me on social media, like my posts, and have read my blog, yet I know I would be awkward with in a real-life interaction. Sometimes, I feel like it enables people to build expectations of me when real life I’m still just an unsure, unorganized teenage girl struggling just as much as anyone else. Like I have to claim all the time, despite the way I can make my words flow when writing, my words are never as eloquent.
It’s a weird feeling knowing that a stranger knows my whole life story. Knowing that someone might know all about me even though we’ve never had a real-life conversation. At first this is a chilling thought, but then I remember how much good putting myself out there is potentially doing. How talking about my struggles and being real with myself and others creates an empathy that can’t be formed in a different way. I remember how many good conversations, relationships, and experiences I’ve endured because of my willingness to be vulnerable.
I am not undermining the power of an online presence in our world today. Living thousands of miles away from many of the people I know, blogging allows me to get spread my ideas and learning experiences with them. It allows me to inspire and relate to a complete stranger, who many have felt like no one else has ever understood how they feel. Sharing posts about things you find important shows that you want other people to hear about certain subjects. In a world today, there is no doubt that there is real life power in the internet. They can create movements, conversations, and empathy.
What I know for sure is that, when my actions, words, and inner dialogue fails, writing is how I figure out what’s really true for me. But, I have to remind myself that what I do in real life is still more important. Despite how great, positive, and determined I am in my writing, it all means nothing if I’m not going to do the same in real life.
At the end of the day, I think the most important thing is in who we are - all devices, accounts, and posts aside. It’s about the thoughts and words that no one else may ever hear. The way we interact with the ones we love and the ones we don’t that say more about our beliefs, character, and identity than any post.
