In May of last year, I posted a tweet that read: “Happy to finally be able to tell everyone: I’m gay.” After seven years of attending a small private Christian school, I was finally willing and able to admit my sexuality, even though many people were not willing to accept it. My coming out was met with much support and understanding, but the negativity generated by some of my former teachers, faculty, and administration was disheartening. Consequently, the summer after my senior year was consumed by self-doubt, insecurity, and hesitation.

Fast forward three months and I found myself in a completely new environment, surrounded by strangers and overwhelmed by the potential for growth. My graduating class of 108 could easily fit into a single lecture hall. Pre-class prayers were replaced with professors sharing raunchy jokes and cuss words. It was different, but it was wonderful. I was in an environment now where I could openly express my sexuality, but it still terrified me. As the first semester progressed, I slowly made more friends, and eventually I made some gay friends as well. This was the first time I befriended people who unashamedly embraced their sexuality. The more I bonded with these friends, the more I realized how different my coming out experience was. Even in college, there were times when I still felt ashamed of who I was and felt a need to hide my sexuality. I was shocked to discover that a lot of the LGBTQ+ people around me lived without self-hatred or shame. They celebrated who they were rather than trying to hide it. At this point, I realized I had some deep rooted issues that could only be solved by learning to love myself.

The rest of the year was spent in a state of liberation and exploration. I decided to branch out and encounter different facets of the LGBTQ+ community. I went to drag shows (which, by the way, are some of the most amazing performances you’ll ever experience), I delved more into fashion and beauty, and I started worrying less about other peoples’ opinions and more about my own happiness. When I look back now, one year later, I realize how much time I wasted being fearful of not only those around me, but of myself as well. I think about how silly it was for me to worry about something as insignificant as a stranger’s opinion of me.

I think a lot of people unintentionally live a “closeted” life. Almost everyone has a certain trait or characteristic that they’re ashamed of, which usually means they try to hide it. Recently I’ve realized that if you hide parts of yourself in order to please the world, you’re just denying yourself and your loved ones the privilege of knowing and loving that part of you. My advice to anyone, regardless of their sexuality or background, is to learn to embrace every part of who you are. Don’t be ashamed of anything and definitely don’t hide from the world; live your life out of the closet.