About a year ago, I had my first panic attack. It left me trembling with no idea what was happening to me.
Panic attacks have been misconstrued beyond belief, with people casually throwing the term around whenever they experience the slightest inconvenience. I will also admit that I used to be someone who spoke this way, but I can honestly say I won't do that again.
The truth is, panic attacks are nothing to joke about, nothing to speak lightly of, and absolutely not something that should just casually be thrown around. Panic attacks are terrifying and debilitating, and the fear they leave is something you cannot possibly understand unless you have experienced it.
For months, I lived in fear of just about everything.
I was afraid to workout because my fast heartbeat could induce a panic attack. I was afraid to go to class because sitting still for so long could bring on a panic attack. I was afraid to socialize but I was also afraid to be alone because either of these could lead to a panic attack.
I would sit in class sneak-checking my pulse every five minutes just to make sure I was fine. I would ceaselessly pull at my sleeves, pick at the loose thread on my shirt, or dig my fingernails into my palms in an attempt to distract my mind from the paranoia that lurked behind the scenes. I was in a constant state of extreme anxiety and it seemed like there was no way to stop it.
I would be deep in focus working on assignments and suddenly feel the urge to jump up because I could feel the onset of a panic attack. I thought I was going to have to live the rest of my life in constant fear that something awful was about to happen to me.
One year later, I am so, so happy and relieved to be able to say I have not been through a panic attack in months when they used to happen every day, and then every week.
One thing that helped me immensely is magnesium supplements. Surprisingly, most people actually are some level of magnesium deficient because we lose this mineral due to things like stress, exercise, and alcohol consumption. As soon as I started supplementing, there was an instant improvement in my wellbeing. I stopped experiencing the heart palpitations that constantly taunted me, and my anxiety levels dropped immensely.
Over time, I re-trained myself to stop checking my pulse all the time — I was OK, and I knew this, and I needed to stop telling myself otherwise. Breaking this habit ended up being the biggest milestone for me because it was something that I became obsessive about.
A year after my first panic attack, I no longer live in fear. I am happy, and healthy, and at peace.
