At this time last year, I would’ve said my life was pretty close to perfect. I was just finishing up my first semester at Central Michigan University with finals quickly approaching. I was one week away from spending much needed time with my friends and family for Christmas Break, and I was just a few short days of celebrating my 20th birthday. The weekend before finals was so bittersweet, until everything took a turn for the worse.

I’ll cut to the chase. My boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere. I felt hurt, confused, and I had no idea what in the hell to do, so of course I called my mom. Two hours later, my little sisters were on my doorstep at my apartment to pick me up.

I spent my weekend wondering what I did wrong and what I did to deserve the heartbreak that I was feeling. I had so many friends and family reaching out to me, but I still felt like I wasn’t good enough. The breakup came out of nowhere, I thought we were really happy together, but he clearly thought that there was someone better out there for him. And perhaps, he is happier now, I don’t really know, and honestly, I don’t really care. All I know is that when we were together I did everything I could to make sure that he was always happy, and maybe for him, that just wasn’t enough.

Monday quickly came and I had to go back to CMU for my finals. Mentally, I couldn’t even focus on exams. Physically, I couldn’t get myself to get out of bed to exercise or even to eat. Emotionally, I was a mess. I couldn’t go a day without crying or thinking about him. Honestly, I don’t know how I got through the week, but I did. Looking back on it now, my friends and my family are the reason I got out of bed everyday that week and went to my exams, without them, I don’t think I could’ve done it.

Christmas break was a blur. I spent too much time crying and not enough time laughing and spending time with my friends and family. I didn’t help decorate the tree, I refused to watch Christmas movies, and I dreaded doing anything but laying on the couch. It was obvious to my friends and family that I was miserable. After Christmas rolled around, my friends made me leave the house to go out and have fun. My family made me bake cookies and go out to dinner with them. Day by day, I could see myself becoming happier, but then something would happen and I would be back on the couch crying my eyes out.

Fast forward, and here I am, one year later, happy as can be. I never thought I would say this, but I am happier now than I ever have been in my entire life. Although I was happy with my boyfriend at the time, I was putting his happiness before my own and it took us breaking up for me to see that.

Finals are this week, which I am actually prepared for this year. Christmas Break is one week away, and I am so excited to be surrounded by my friends and family. My 21st birthday is quickly approaching and while I am excited for that, I’m not so sure my liver is.

When I was at my worst, it was obvious to me who my real friends were, and for that, I am so thankful. They never gave up on me and were there when I needed them the most. My family never left my side, although at times, I’m sure they wanted to. They were my backbone, my motivation, and my reason to keep going every single day. My sister and oddly enough, her boyfriend, quickly became my best friends. They knew when I was having a rough day and were always there to cheer me up; they still are. I wouldn’t have gotten through it if it weren’t for my friends and family.

I learned so much about myself while going through my hard times. I found myself reading and writing a lot. A good book distracted me from my hectic life and allowed me to escape into a different world. Writing allowed me to express myself in a way that only I could understand. I ate healthier and I exercised everyday, something that made me feel one hundred times better about myself. I spent more time taking walks alongside Lake Michigan, something that made me happier than anyone or anything ever could. Although this was a hard time in my life, I look back on it now and I couldn’t be more thankful for everything that had happened.

I’m not going to act like every day was easy, because it wasn’t. It took me awhile to find myself and it took even longer for me to realize that I deserved to be happy. The moral of the story is this: at some point in this crazy life, you’re going to get your heart broken, but what matters is how you let it define you. Do you let your breakup get the best of you, or do you find your happiness and fight through the sadness?

Lean on your family and friends, but don't forget that you need to fix yourself. Go out and party, but don’t forget that the temporary high of the alcohol will rub off and you’ll come back to reality eventually. Cry your eyes out, but don’t forget how many people love you because of your smile. Sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day, but don’t forget your treadmill is patiently awaiting your arrival at the gym. No matter what you do, do it with the intent of bettering yourself and making yourself happy, because if there is anyone that is going to make you the happiest, it’s yourself.