Every person that doesn't know me probably assumes that I grew up in a normal household with both my mother and father and had that perfect little dream life. Little do those people know that I grew up with neither of my parents and spent most of my childhood in the court system.
Honestly, not many people know the real me and everything that I went through growing up and I've never written about it before so here it is.
When I was around one, I was taken from my biological parents care by the state mainly for the fact that they were unfit to be parents among other reasons. I had four older siblings at the time and most of us were separated and placed into foster care. I was fortunate enough to have my grandmother and grandfather adopt me and the youngest of my three older brothers. My father vanished into thin air and I don't remember ever meeting him. From there, my biological mother constantly fought for joint custody so my siblings and I were in and out of the courthouse reporting our biweekly visits to the judge.
When I was three, my grandfather passed away from kidney failure so it was just my grandmother, my brother, and I left. She did the best she possibly could raising my brother and I. And I can tell you that we didn't make it easy. She raised us to be respectable people, to always use your manners, and always be appreciative of what others do for you. She had to play both roles in the household, both the woman and the man.
When I tell people this they tend to ask how it was to not grow up without a father figure. Honestly, it was hard not having that influence that tells you to be tough but is always there to protect you. I'm not saying that my grandma didn't do this because she did. It's just not the same when you see all the other fathers taking their teen daughters on a date to show them how a good guy should treat you. Every year, my dance studio always did a father-daughter dance during the holidays and I was always upset because I knew I would never share that bond with a dad like all my other friends.
I know that not having that male figure in my life did have a huge impact on me growing up, but looking back I wouldn't change it for the world. It made me independent, to the point where I don't rely on any man to do anything for me. I had to learn how to fight my own battles and how to stand up eight times after I've already fallen seven.
My grandmother raised me to be respectful, and independent woman I am today and I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm so thankful for her putting her life on hold just to give me and my brother a chance to live our lives to the fullest. She didn't have to take us in but she did because that is just the kind of person she is. Sometimes I wonder where I would be today if I had had a different childhood or if grew up with both parents. Would I be at a private college today, would I be friends with the people I'm friends? I don't know and I don't care if I never find out.
