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One Day You Will Know.

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One day you will know. One day you will know it all. One day you will know how i felt. One day you will know how much I cared. One day you will understand when I said it would last forever, I simply meant it. One day you will feel how I felt always defending you, someone wasting myself trying to make people believe that you were the one for me, trying to make people believe that you had change. All along people knew what it was that I desired, people knew what it was that I simply deserved, people knew how I was feeling inside. People knew I was unhappy, people knew I could only seem to carry so much. I loved you so much that I came to forget were my true happiness was. I loved you so much that I could not seem to picture my life without you, it started to become a habit, it started to become a simple desire that I wanted you to be the perfect boy I had in mind. I wanted you to be the person I dreamed of being with, I wanted you to be the person my family envisioned me being with, I wanted you to be the person that I desired. I started to realize that by envisioning the person I wanted I started to change who you were. I started to bring myself down. I started to bring myself down to the point where I started to believe what you gave me was simply what I deserved, I looked in the mirror and knew I deserved so much more but I couldn't make myself believe it. I couldn't make myself believe that I was the one that needed to leave the game in order to make myself heal, I needed to recover from the unrecognizable person I was becoming, I needed to escape and realize that I was in a hole, I was stuck in deep and if I never decided to escape there would be no escape. Everytime I tried to move along, every time I tried to move up, to open a new chapter, I was always put down, I was always left in pause. I knew it was all wrong, but my heart told me otherwise. My heart told me that I had made a promise that I simply had to keep, my heart knew that it would be wrong to leave a person behind, but little did my heart know that by accepting a person in my life, a non beneficial person, I was simply leaving myself behind. I was leaving behind what it was I believed, I was leaving behind all the courage I felt, I was leaving behind all the opportunities that could be gained and all the doors that could simply be opened. Leaving you was hard, but it was necessary. It was necessary to come to the realization that I needed to heal, that I needed what I envisioned, and I sincerely believe my promise was meant to be broken. My promise would only cause self harm and I would never know what it was that I deserve. I would never be granted with my "perfect guy" and you would never be grant with your "perfect girl. This decision not only hurts my heart, but brings tears to my eyes, but I know it was for the best. I know it was what had to be done, I knew it was what was meant to happen. You and I were a perfect mistake, were a perfect war that would never came with a solution. Every time we wanted to make it work, there would always be something that would tear us down, and bring us back to the starting point. You will always be remembered in my heart for the person that helped me acknowledge what it is that I truly desired, and who it truly is that I want to be. I apologize for abandoning you, but I promise it was for the best.

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