Am I excited? Maybe. But I’m way more nervous than excited. I don’t know what to expect and, frankly, I don’t want to expect because I'm afraid all my expectations will be proven false. All of this is happening so fast. A week ago, I was literally counting down the minutes to when I’ll leave for college, but now I’m slightly anxious. A whole new world. A whole new set of people who might dislike me. No one familiar, no one from my country. Just me who is not only carrying my own burdens but the burden to represent my religion, my country, my family? Or maybe I’m just overthinking this. Maybe no one will care where I’m from or what my beliefs are. Maybe they’ll be more interested in who I am as a person, my hobbies and my dreams. I just don’t know.

I see the packed suitcases staring at me, waving me goodbye. Our family portrait, hung right in the center of our living room’s north wall, sadly gazing at me. It’s all becoming so real now. I’ve always dreamed of packing my stuff and leaving this country for good. I still want that more than ever but I never knew I’ll feel so nostalgic, even before leaving. What about my family? What about special occasions? What about my best friend’s surprise birthday? What about my niece’s first steps? I won’t be there to experience and cherish all these events. I’ll be gone.

My mother is so proud of me but I know she’s scared; scared of setting her youngest child free. She has always encouraged me to do whatever I want and just when I thought it was my turn to give back to her, I’m going far far away. She never tells me not to go, she just tells me to be happy and do what I think is right. Thank you, Mom. I promise you I’ll do everything in my capacity to make you proud and live a comfortable/tension-free life.

My brother side-hugged for me the first time ever (literally). I’ve received messages from people I haven’t talked to in ages to wish me the best of luck. I’ve been eating my favorite food (Go Desi!) all week. It’s lovely but frightening. Will I taste biryani in the next three months? Who will make my food extra spicy? Can I order up some curry and rice whenever I like?

These problems might seem trivial and maybe they are, but for me, this is about letting go of everything I’ve ever known. I believe I’m ready to begin a new life, with new surroundings, new friends, and new discoveries. I hope this will be a smooth but exhilarating ride. I’m coming for you, Trinity!