At first thought, relationships are all about spending time with each other, having deep talks, and going on dates together. More so, I have often been told that when you really love someone, you accept who they are, and you work through any problems instead of dismissing them. What if you only saw your significant other in person for five days in the past six months? What if you have not talked to your significant other in two weeks?

Dating, being engaged to, and marrying a U.S. Marine is not easy, nor is it a typical relationship. There are no opportunities to go out on cute dates, have a movie weekend, or just have someone to be there for you when life gets chaotic. Usually, you can depend on your boyfriend or girlfriend to be supportive when stresses become too much to handle or comforting when you end up in the hospital from an illness. There is none of that when committing to a Marine. Despite not having a conventional relationship many relationships survive the various tests of military life.

I have often heard that I have been drafted into the Marine Corps while he chose to enlist. I was forced to accept all their rules and the harsh reality when I wanted nothing to do with the military in the first place. He had three months to learn how to be a Marine while I was thrown into the gauntlet. No useful information is given, you never know what is happening, and you are expected to know every rule showing respect towards rank and those in uniform with no preparation at all.

Acceptance has been key to dealing with all of this. I had to accept completely that I would never be the number one priority in a military personnel’s life, his specifically. The Corps always comes first, no matter what. The Corps does not care if I made plans six months ago, am having a baby, or even if someone dies in some cases. He signed his life over when he signed his signature on those enlistment papers. He does not get to come home every night, and he certainly is not allowed to take days off to see me, when I am able to fly to wherever he is. He can ask all he wants, but more often than not, he will be denied. I cannot touch him in public, especially while he is in uniform, this includes any type of holding, kissing, basically no displays of affection. He is government property until the day he retires, and even then he will always partially be theirs. I just have to accept all of these conditions without question.

Is this fair? Is this a healthy relationship? Most people would answer no to both of those questions, but there are some out there who know what a great person they are with. Military significant others are drafted into a bad situation and will always get the short end of the stick, but they realize how important their relationship is to them. While it may not be the picture perfect relationship, men and women in a similar situation to mine, know how far their heart can stretch and how strong mentally, and emotionally they really are.

Overall, people should not be so quick to judge others based on the visibility of their relationships. We should be considerate and kind to others because we never know what another person is going through.