So it’s been about a month since the argument that got me on this line of thought- the argument of my weird emotional space needs versus her weird physical space needs both being what they are on account of socioemotional isolation by way of religion in which disability may have been a factor. My ankle is still not quite 100%. I am not a woman, and I have my reservations about Christianity- yet I think that it’s still important to examine for a moment what the complementarian worldview expects of a woman.
One responsibility of a woman is to be a helper to her man. In a relationship, people lean on each other and are open about insecurities that they wouldn’t share with most other people. Most relationships break down because of a refusal to work through whatever issue it is that a person is open about. One question to consider is at what point does that help become demeaning to the man? At which point does helping your man disrespect your man? Be wary of your level of intrusiveness and how the intrusion is delivered.
Another responsibility of woman is to respect her man. Honestly, I don’t feel that a lot. Like, whenever I go to church and believe what is necessary for me to believe, that’s when I have girls trying to share Jesus with me in spite of the fact that I know Jesus because my Jesus isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and giving me exactly what I want when I want it. My relationship with Jesus is tense because he always leads me blindly into bizarre situations, yet doesn’t allow me to be a troll in response. But back to the girls trying to share Jesus with me, it goes directly against the power structure within this framework. Consequentially, I prefer the friend zone to the purgatory I’m in whenever I get close to a girl. On the other hand, respecting a man may not help him. The helper role safeguards against what may go wrong in the respect role.
Another responsibility of woman is to love her man. Shouldn’t that be the job of both people? Love in this context means looking past a lot of faults. Shouldn’t that be the job of both people? Isn’t it the job of both people to be patient, to be kind, and to not look for dishonest gain? To not be boastful? To not be afraid of the future? Perhaps in some ways within this framework, women are being told to put part of the emotional burden on themselves while expecting the man to carry some of the emotional burden- yet these emotional burdens are different from how the world conceptualizes who ought to carry what emotional burden how. Man has to carry the emotional burden of the risks of pursuit and the emotional burden of directing how the intent develops. Woman has to be the navigator of this car as opposed to taking turns with the man in driving it, because then there’s going to be the argument of who should drive when, creating a situation where everybody is afraid to drive and clueless as to where they’re at. Seen that way, is worldly love loving?
The last main responsibility of woman is to submit to her man as man submits to God. The egalitarians conveniently forget the “as man submits to God.” So there will be struggles. Be prepared. Yet what does Christ also say? Take up his yoke, for his burden is light. So it makes sense to not be too different, though that's still somewhat petty. If you submit to something you don't agree with, that's a problem for you in any type of way of seeing the world. So submit to that which you agree with. It's incredibly petty, but it's easy.
