The Olympics: where over 200 National Olympic Committees (NOC) compete for national recognition, pride, and glory. These athletes and competitors train their entire lives for this opportunity, but sadly all the hard work will soon be all for nothing since no one will be watching them claim their medals. Olympic officials have reported a major decrease in viewership in the past summer and winter Olympics, and they have claimed to have found the problem: It’s us, the Millennials.
Officials are saying that Millennials aren’t interested in many of the sports that are offered in the Olympics, and that’s why we change the channel when we see it on. I agree completely with this statement. Who seriously wants to see which countries can climb a wall the fastest? (According to President Trump, Mexico already took the gold medal in that event.) Who wants to spend their free time watching two people play table tennis when you can literally see anything more entertaining on any another channel? Golf, canoeing, and don’t even get me started on equestrian dressing. There’s nothing exciting about these sports and that is why I came up with a list of 10 sport-like activities that will get the Millennials attention, and bring the Olympics back to its glory day:
1. Snowmobile Racing
This would be the highlight of the Winter Olympics. The adrenaline would shoot through the viewer’s bodies as soon as their eyes see these competitors race at incredibly high speeds in between trees, jump unbelievable distances, and all the while performing in below zero like temperatures. The risk of death is always right around the corner with these racers, which will leave us millennials at the edge of our seats.
2. Monster Trucks
Can’t you just imagine how epic this would be? Each country having one of these 12,000 pound monsters competing against each other, trying to perform the best tricks. It’s no joke either, it takes years of training and talent to control one of these behemoths. Just think how breathtaking the sight would be to see a red, white, and blue bald eagle shaped monster truck crushing cars and doing doughnuts all in honor of representing our country.
3. Video Games
What’s more Millennial than video games? Video games competitions have become mainstream in today's society, not only in the U.S, but around the rest of the world as well. ESPN broadcasts tournaments all the time, so we know people are willing to watch it, and it’s honestly extremely entertaining seeing these teams use different elaborate strategies, scream at each other, and chug their energy drinks to try to pull off a win. This would bring a big change to the Olympics, but also bring in an entirely new demographic into the mix.
4. Air Hockey
2 people, 1 table, 1 puck. The arcade game with the fastest paced action. Now I know what you’re thinking, wasn’t I earlier ripping into table tennis for being boring? Yes, they may be similar, but every person I know grew up playing air-hockey in an arcade or bowling alley. I feel like us millennials have a special connection to this game and are drawn to it, which in return will have us drawn to the Olympics. Also, all the electronic lights and sounds from the table up the excitement to another level.
5. Beer Pong
You already have almost every college student tuned in to watch the Olympics if those two words were announced as an event. Every country has people who consume alcohol and what better way to make your country proud then getting drunk and throwing ping pong balls into a plastic cup. We wouldn’t even need to spend money on setup, we would just use the table tennis tables after their snooze fest was over.
6. UFC
The Olympics offer boxing, judo, karate, and wrestling in its fighting categories. Why not just make the ultimate event by combining them all and introduce the UFC? The UFC is the closest thing to modern day gladiators we will ever get and our ancestral instinct to watch two people basically beat each other to near death gets our blood pumping. When there is blood and broken bones, there will be people watching.
7. Go-Kart Racing
How do you make any race involving cars fun and exciting? You put the drivers in tiny carts that go high speed and make them race on the craziest courses. There’s a reason why NASCAR is dying and it’s because there are only so many times you can watch a car go in a circle without not wanting to claw your eyes out. Go-karts put some energy and flare back into racing and would certainly bring in some viewers.
8. Paint Ball
This would be the closest thing to having a war between countries without having a war, but instead of blood splattered it would be paint. We could witness the Olympics in a new way if each person was equipped with a Go-Pro, so we can experience the action in first-person. Not only will we feel the exhilaration of the teams trying to shoot each other with paintballs that go over 150 mph, but there is a chance of seeing someone get shot in the ass, which is one of the funniest things you could possibly ever see.
9. Mini Golf
What’s so special about hitting a ball hundreds of yards and trying to get it in a tiny hole on your first shot? I’ll tell you what is special though, it’s hitting the ball through a clown’s mouth, onto a pirate ship, then roll off the deck into dolphin’s blowhole, and finally gets shot out into the hole on your first shot. Mini golf brings excitement and creativity with each hole. It not only takes skill, but is entertaining to look at which would bring in a younger audience.
10. Hunger Games
Why not? Everyone loves those “Hunger Games” movies and if you say you don’t then you’re a liar. This would be the most watched event in television history without question. Each country puts in their tribute and after a battle to the death, the last one standing claims eternal glory and a medal.
