Chance’s are at this point in your life you’re familiar with the term, “Old Soul,” but if you’re behind on the times like every other moron I’ll define it for you. An old soul is essentially someone who believes in old fashioned ideals, such as wanting a family, saving themselves for marriage, and racism, all the while being in their late teens/early twenties. The internet is rampant with college students who relate to this feeling, and a majority of them live on this website right here. But this isn’t another generic “old soul,” story, I am literally a 90-year-old woman, trapped in a 19-year-old girl’s body. And I need help getting out.
I don’t know how it happened, one night after I put my dentures away for the evening and went to bed, I woke up to find myself in a young lady’s body. It was like the movie “17 Again” with Zach Efron, wait how do I know that reference? Oh my god, it’s getting worse!
My entire surroundings changed too, what used to be my homely anecdotes cross stitched all over my walls, soon changed to ironic childhood posters of High School Musical, starring Zach Efron. Who is this Zach Efron? Why is he in everything? My precious old lady kitchen, with dining sets that matched each other, turned into a mess with dishes that hadn’t been washed in months.
Overnight, my tiny quaint lifestyle was flip turned upside down like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Ever since then I’ve been getting catcalled by men, I failed out of all my classes, and my depression that I didn’t even know I had has only gotten worse. I went to a professional to talk about my issue, and all they said was to stop being so metaphorical and focus on the real problems. This isn’t a metaphor! I am 90-years-old! I should be dead!
Nevertheless, I’m not, I am a 90-year-old living in a 19-year-old woman’s body and I’m tired of this “old soul” bullshit. If you were truly an old soul you’d be screaming for help, like I am, every night, on my roof. And I never get a response back, other than drunk creeps walking by yelling, “Show me your tits!"