To all of the guys I've dated before, I'm honestly glad that we broke up.

So many of you were so wrong for me, and it took something awful for me to ever really see it. All of the lessons that I've learned from years of awful dating situations and dumb arguments have all made it possible for me to not only be in the wonderful relationship that I'm in now, but to be able to face my challenges and demons head-on. All of the fighting and the nonsense showed me what was really important. It helped me to narrow down what I truly wanted, and now I am out here living my best life.

To my first boyfriend, my first "serious" high school boyfriend. You were a senior, I was a freshman, and I was crazy about you. You were in a band as the lead singer and needless to say, I fell in love with you before I knew it. We went on cute dates and when you invited me over to your house for the first time, you made me tacos and mac and cheese. We listened to music and looked at your drum sets. Things ended when I had to kiss my costar on stage and you weren't okay with it. You didn't trust me. What we thought was love was just puppy love. And so we broke up and I moved on.

I learned from you that having trust can make or break any relationship, no matter how strong.

To my second boyfriend, my "high school sweetheart." I dated you not once, but twice. I made the choice to let you back into my life, into my heart, and into my family after you dumped me the first time. I laid myself bare to you. You came back to me while I was mourning a loss and became exactly what I needed you to be. You were a best friend and boyfriend all in one. We spent hours talking together on the phone and plenty of hours spent together kissing and hugging and laughing. What I felt for you was so real and intense that it consumed me. My only thought was to be with you and make you happy. There wasn't a single thing I wouldn't have done for you. I bought you countless gifts and showered you with love, compliments, and affection.

I was head over heels in love with you, and that's why when you started ignoring me, I was crushed. You cut off almost all communication without a reason and made up a lie that I was "hitting on your best friend" when I was really just being nice. I know that you did it because you got bored again, or maybe because you already had your sights on someone else, but no matter what the reason, I deserved to know and I deserved better than to be told through a text message that you needed a break. When I woke up and saw that text from you, I knew that I had to beat you to the punch and break up with you. Otherwise, you would've made a fool out of me twice. I took control, and in doing so broke my own heart before I could let you do it twice. And so we broke up and I moved on.

I learned from you that no matter how much love you give, it means nothing if the other person doesn't give any in return.

To my third boyfriend, my first "adult" relationship. You swept me off of my feet. You were older and made more money than me and I was dazzled by your smile. We had the perfect relationship in the beginning. We went on so many dates I started to lose count. You would bring me flowers and rolls from Texas Roadhouse, just because you loved me so much and I was in the clouds.

Then things started to take a turn. A few months in, you became controlling and jealous and overbearing. You tried to make my entire life about you, limiting who I could and could not talk too. My sweet and loving boyfriend turned into a monster that preyed on my darkest insecurities and fears. In front of others we were fine and seemed normal, but underneath was something much darker. We had a few good days and a lot of terrible days. But overall, I spent two years with you. When we would break up, you would turn back into that sweet man that I knew and I would let myself get sucked back into the same routine. You became toxic to me. I gave you two years of my life and it almost killed me. I was dead inside, and I stopped loving you way before we broke up for the last time. Breaking up with you was the best choice that I have ever made in my life. And so we broke up and I moved on.

I learned from you that it doesn't matter how long you're with someone, you are under no obligation to stay and that it's all going to be okay when you make the choice to prioritize yourself first.

To my current boyfriend, thank you for all of your understanding and love and for being my unfailingly honest support system.

I'm learning from you every day and it just keeps getting better and better.