Everyone gets pressed with the pressures of being in a relationship.
We idolize those who are in relationships and then once we are in an relationship, we idolize those who are single and independent. I have consistently found myself being torn between wanting to be single and idolizing what it would be like to be in a relationship.
Throughout my freshman year of college, I fought an internal battle within myself to pursue independence. I was constantly worried about being wanted, my self-image and wondering what my first impression was. After repeated attempts to fill myself up with empty relationships and even friendships, I have come to the realization that all this fluff we idolize and crave is also empty. It will always leave us with dissatisfaction and expectations that literally no one can live up to. What we have always wanted in a relationship, dreamed about and planned is all artificial. It is what people have instilled in us. Whether it may be because of movies, books, media or people falsely portraying their relationship, it is all artificial. Relationships can be beautiful--don't me wrong--the concept of love itself is truly beautiful. But my point is that when people fill themselves up with those relationships that do not have a solid foundation are not going to last, therefore deriving the meaning of love. It is better to wait for that true love, and although I have yet to experience this, I believe it is out there. What is the point of trying to be in a relationship with no substance, is that glorifying to you?
After witnessing many people try to feed into a relationship that has no solid ground, morals or boundaries, I see them give a little piece of their heart away each time they find out their relationship is empty.
So, it's OK to wait.
It's OK to be single.
It's OK, whether you are a male or female, to respect yourself enough to wait for the right one. It's perfectly OK to build and grow on your own instead of growing with someone. You shouldn't have to feel bad as if you are going against the world's expectations by loving yourself enough. And you most definitely do not want to settle because you are feeling the weight of being single.
You always hear about people promoting self-love, about independence and putting yourself first, but when you want to implement this self-love, you feel distant from yourself. You need to get rid of those thoughts there were instilled in you. You have to rid yourself of those endless expectations and want for someone to fill any empty space for you. You truly need to know yourself, to spend time alone figuring out who you are, and how you can grow. To enjoy life with family and friends, putting your focus on yourself and the loved ones already in your life would be amazing, wouldn't it? Being able to sit down alone without thinking about being in any type of relationship is true freedom. And it's OK to do this for yourself!
It's OK to be single.
Pursue yourself. Become confident in you who are. Learn to love yourself so that when the right one comes, you are prepared to love them. Do not feel bad that you are alone. Don't feel like you are unwanted because you are single, and no guys (or girls) want to pursue you. It's OK to be single.
