Love. Love is something we all want and need. Not only do we want to be loved, but we also want to be wanted. For some people, it may be taking longer than others to feel that rush of exciting new love, and that is perfectly okay.
You may look around and see couples everywhere who look deeply in love with each other. At school, at work, or even just in public. It almost seems like it is impossible to get away from, and you can't help but get upset because you're not one of them. You might have even been asked by your friends and family if you are dating anybody. You lay in bed at night wondering if something is wrong. You wonder why you haven't really had a relationship yet. You start asking yourself if you should change something about yourself. Those romance movies and love songs send you into a bad mood because you're worried you will never find "the one." Have you experienced any of these emotions? If you have, don't worry because I have too. I know exactly what it's like too be the only single one in the friend group. But a few years later, I am now engaged to the love of my life. I'm not bragging; I'm here to tell you that you have no reason to be discouraged.
For most of high school, I experienced everything I mentioned about wanting to desperately find love. Every night I would lie in bed wondering if something was wrong with me. I would think of ways to change my look or change my personality. I changed my style and started acting a little more girlier than normal. I would get up extra early every morning before school and spend over an hour getting ready just to go sit in classrooms all day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting that much effort into getting ready everyday, and I admire the girls that doll themselves up for every event. I realized the hard way that just isn't for me though. Eventually I gave up trying to change myself, and embraced who I really was. I realized that if I wanted someone to like me, I wanted them to like me for who I really was.
There is one other mistake I made when it came to dating that taught me a very important lesson. I learned that you can't force love.There was a couple times when I developed a crush on a guy. Luckily for me, the guy had a crush on me too. We "went out" and texted a lot, but the only times we saw each other were at school because we were too young to actually date. Even though we didn't have a real relationship, I was over excited to be "going out" with somebody. I even used the L word because I didn't know any better; I thought it was love. This exact scenario happened with two different guys. I made the mistake of pushing myself into relationships because someone finally showed interest in me. This lead to nothing but heart break for me.
I'm not here to tell you the stories about my past relationships. I'm here to use my experiences as examples for you. I know what you're going through. As I said before, I went through most of high school being the only single one in the friend group. But what did I do? I turned it over to God. I prayed every night that He would send me a blessing. I trusted in Him to lead me to the right man for me. I stopped searching, and I focused on loving myself and growing closer to God. After-all, you can't love someone without loving yourself first. I focused on improving myself, and I focused on my education. I stopped worrying because I knew it was all in God's hands.
The summer right before my senior year, God put a man in my life. We talked a lot and went on numerous dates. In no time, I knew he was "the one". I knew God put him in my life for a reason. After almost a year and a half, I got engaged to the love of my life. The feeling I have now is way better than I have ever experienced in any other relationship. I realize now that my past experiences were lessons to make me realize what I really need to look for in a relationship. When I was younger, I entered relationships because the guy showed interest in me. As I got older and grew closer to God, I learned that relationships require much more than that. True relationships require commitment, communication, and understanding. They require a special connection like you've never felt before.
If you are struggling to find love, don't worry yourself sick. Everybody's timing is different, and everything happens for a reason. Sure it's okay to get out and date, but don't force yourself into something if it doesn't make you happy. Focus on yourself, and eventually "the one" will come your way. Trust me. It is worth the wait to be with the greatest person you have ever met verses being with someone just because they accept you. Know your worth. Set reasonable standards,and don't settle for less. I'm not saying don't give somebody a chance because they don't meet one criteria, but at the same time don't date somebody that doesn't make you entirely happy. You deserve happiness, and if happiness requires a wait, it will be worth it in the end. Don't rush into love because it comes naturally. Trust me. Love will find it's way to you; sometimes it just requires a little patience.