Our entire lives, we’ve been told, “once a quitter, always a quitter,” and in certain aspects of life -- like playing sports, dieting, or chasing your dreams -- this is true. But this statement brings only negative connotations to quitting. What about quitting addictions? And, on a different scale, what about quitting relationships? A lot of girls these days find the negative in breaking up with people, rather than seeing the positives it can bring to them.
It is okay to give up on something you love if that something is ultimately hurting you or holding you back. It’s okay to quit a relationship if the going gets tough, and continues to get tougher. It’s okay to hurt people’s feelings. That’s what being young is for. Not every relationship you hold is meant to last forever. It is okay to terminate toxic relationships, and sometimes, it is okay to terminate healthy ones. Sometimes, even the best relationships don’t work out for various reasons. You don’t always have to have a reason as to why something feels wrong to you. Sometimes, it’s just not right. It might not be the right time, the right place, or the right person. And that’s okay.
I know plenty of people who stay in relationships for the sake of the other person. They find themselves dreading hanging out with the person rather than missing them right after leaving. They’re worried more about pleasing the other person, and use statements like “well, they’ll be upset if I don’t go,” rather than doing what they want to do. They find reasons to pick fights, even over the smallest things and search for reasons to be mad at that person consistently. They look for a way out. They complain about the relationship more than they want to be in it, and they make up excuses for why they can’t do things. I’ve been this person.
Now, don’t get me wrong -- relationships take sacrifice, and you’re not always going to be doing what you want. Relationships mean working to make each other happy. But, sometimes, relationships become exhausted, and it does no good to stay in one where you’re searching for a way out the entire time. Sometimes, you can love that person with your whole heart, but you know you shouldn’t be with them. In the long run, it doesn’t make either person happy and ends up hurting the other person worse than it would have if you’d stayed.
I recently read an article that every relationship has a quitter and a dreamer, which basically outlined all the negatives of the quitter, and how hurt the quitter made the dreamer. I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been the dreamer in a relationship, and I’ve been the quitter. I’ve also been the people pleaser. I used to think that maybe certain relationships would get better, and I would be happy. But they didn’t. I stayed for the sake of the other person because I didn’t want to break their heart. I know more than anyone that having your heartbroken is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I didn’t want to be the source of someone else’s misery. But all of the time I spent staying ended up creating more misery for them the long run.
Maybe it’s a situation where they’ve done nothing wrong, or maybe it’s a situation where they’ve done everything wrong. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. If you feel like you need out of the relationship, get out of it. We’re young. We’re allowed to be selfish, and we’re allowed to quit every now and then. Quitting isn’t easy. Of course, you never want to give up on someone who you’ve been with for a long time -- someone you probably still love. But it’s also something that has to be done, every now and then. Sometimes, quitting allows you to gain freedom. It allows you to move forward, and it allows you to grow up. But most importantly, it allows you to understand yourself, and grasp what you need from relationships.
