I needed someone to give me a hand

A hand to hold onto

But, who would give me a hand when I feel I'm messing everything up?

A reputation for being a loner, one who had a temper, and one who wouldn't speak up for others

2 years ago, my life was in shambles

I felt like my soul was tearing me apart

A demon in my head, one in the mirror and another in the midst of others

I couldn't see straight,

too many people letting me down

No bullying allowed?

Well, what a hypocrite people can be

No one helped me when I was in need

It went on for years, not a soul cared

I was crying in the bathroom stall trying to breathe

When I was crying I couldn't catch a breath

Tears streamed down my face

Then I thought maybe this will be my life

I gave up hope, didn't see a light for the future

I was out of control

I started acting up with my teachers, my parents and muted all the friends I had left

Looked for friends in dangerous situations, wanting to vent my problems to anybody who'd listen

Listened to angry music, imagining fighting with the enemies, screaming at them

"Why is it always me you'd rather be rude to. I didn't do a damn thing to you."

I was an angry child, ever since I was a kid

Then I realized, I won't let my soul die, I'll give life another try

I graduated high school and felt free

When I saw 13 Reasons Why on Netflix

It felt like it was my past-- similar situations, same emotions, and mindset

What if I stayed on the path of self-destruction?

How would I feel?

Guess I'm glad I don't know

I'm better than the past; better than those who let me down

Matter of fact, I'd rather rise up on my own 'cause then I'll take the credit when I make it

My dreams I shall turn into goals

My mindset; I'd make it on my own

Done trying to compare myself to other people

My mistakes; I learned on my own

I stood up for myself on New Years Day to a stranger

That was my very first time standing up for myself

I felt proud

Maybe this will be the year I learn how to stand up for myself