October is usually a month celebrated across the country - the White House, the football field - as one dressed in pink, because when it comes to October, most people think "Breast Cancer Awareness Month," which technically speaking is true. Now I want to say right away that I believe breast cancer is a very scary thing, something that has affected my own loved ones. I think breast cancer deserves its publicity as much as every other issue out there, I truly do.
However, that is not the only issue that the month of October represents. October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month, something I think needs more press more than ever. Domestic violence is a problem that thrives in the silence, which surrounds it. It's victims often live in darkness and fear, unsure of who to turn to or what to do. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime and 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Every day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
Domestic violence is an unpleasant yet unavoidable reality. It is not a problem of the lower class, undereducated, underprivileged, or under paid. It is not an issue that cares about race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, job status. It can happen to anyone, including you. People who are in abusive relationships or stay in abusive relationships are not weak, stupid, low, dumb, selfish, or any other negative attribute one could come up with. They are people who are afraid, who need help, because the cycle of guilt can leave them feeling helpless and powerless.
Love does not hurt. It does not condescend, belittle, lie, cheat, punch, kick, spit, punch. It does not isolate you from your friends or family. It does not rob you of the people and things you love. Love is respect - respect for your goals, beliefs, values, mind, body - you as an entire, holistic being.
I challenge all of us this October to remember that breast cancer is not the only issue that affects women in our communities. If you or someone you love is in a dangerous situation, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) for the deaf or hard of hearing. For ideas on what you can do to participate in Domestic Violence Awareness Month, please check out this website, for ideas like donating or volunteering at a local organization who deals with domestic violence.
October is a time when women and men can come together to try and stop the silence around domestic violence. Please know, if you're reading this, that you are not alone. You are loved and worth loving. Please reach out - don't let a love one make you believe you are anything less than a human being who deserves the same love and respect as anyone else.
