Now I'm Mad

Now I'm Mad

This is my rant about issues from bullying, to Islamophobia, to politics, to misogynists, to the lgbtqia hate, to All Lives Matter, and so on.


I was hurt. I am irked by bullying, Islamophobia, politicians, misonygy hate towards the LGBTQIA community, and the 'All Lives Matter' and 'Blue Lives Matter' movements. And now I'm mad!

A joke about my skin tone leads to the disappointment I have for the joyful sun. It's a burning sun. If you are a person with dark skin, and have been bullied or made fun of your entire life for it, you probably understand the insecurity I have -- which means you probably also get that my mood changes whenever someone talks about skin, or skin tone, or the light being turned off, or even tanning, or race (but I'll get back to race further on). I feel like wherever I go, people will always have something to say, and if they're quiet, I know what they think, Damn she's dark!

NOW, THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME MAD: Where do you (and by you, I mean the people who find it interesting to make fun of your friend's -or friends' skin tone, or those of you who just appreciate yourselves while bullying someone because of his or her shade) find the audacity to torture someone's spirit by talking about the way that they look? I sincerely would like to know why you think that it is OK to denounce someone by talking about something he or she cannot easily change. I want answers. And if you cannot provide a relevant and resourceful explanation, than take my advice: stop. It hurt me, realizing that I had no problem with my skin until people started discussing negatively about it. *Also, please note that this applies with any person's skin tone as well.*

It is because I never learned to love my skin earlier on in life that I have all of this built up insecurity. Its because of the experiences I've gone through (that's another story for another time), that I am unable to stress enough the importance of self-love and self confidence. I can happily say that I feel much better about myself, having built the confidence I have now, but everyday I am still learning to love myself.

The speed of Islamophobia traveling from one person to the next is as the speed of light. Before September 11, 2001, I don't recall ever learning anything pertaining to a fear that people had for Muslims; after 9/11 it was almost an epidemic. The Islamic faith has been booted left and right.

NOW, LET ME TELL YOU WHY I'M PISSED: I, as a child -- a Sudanese Christian, to be exact, intertwined with the Islamic culture -- too, became afraid of my Muslim friends and family; heart beating faster when I'd see a woman covering her entire face; asking myself why the features of her body, her face, were hidden; suspicious. It was the American fear which stored this phobia into my mind; unable to see the beauty, the peace, the love, with in the religious community. So, if I were able to hold fear of a Muslim, its because it was taught to me. The television, the Catholic school which I was enrolled into until seventh; my family taught me love, but I listened only to the hate; that was fear. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR OWN IRRATIONAL FEARS TO INTERRUPT HAPPINESS, TEAR OTHERS APART, INFLUENCE THE OPINIONS OTHERS HAVE ON RACE, ETHNICITY, AND RELIGION.

The arrogance of politicians when it comes to political correctness or even sympathy tortures a nation and its people. How are we as a people supposed to change if the ones running to lead this country are close-minded?

SO, WHAT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, IS: Why, are food stamps an issue, while, death due to gun violence is just a part of life? The Republican party, some how, does not understand that we, as citizens of the United States of America, are citizens of the United States of America. What does that mean, Evelyn? What it means is that as leaders of our country, you must care for the country; you must care for us; we are the country. If people are dying, and you aren't doing anything to stop it besides sending your condolences, and most of the time not even that -- which goes farther than just the Republican party for just this sentence -- then you're doing it wrong! Also, as leaders, you need to take care of your people in every way... I don't know... maybe stopped supporting gun violence so much and starting supporting government assistance. If there are people on the streets, families at home with food and an unpaid electric bill, homeless high school teenagers, etc., then use your efforts to do something about it rather than saying "These people, living below the poverty line, are lazy" while saying "Taking away guns won't do anything". The pessimism along with the negativity are what's being us down. Stop denouncing us and fix the problems. *Also, just a side note: stop spending too damn much!*

The ignorance when it comes to feminism and the disbelief that it has all to do with the equality of all sexes: that is what is eating away our minds.

THIS IS WHY I FEEL SO ANGRY: Misogyny is so subliminal, as it has always been. People don't even realize its happening, not do they realize they are misogynists. Feminism is all about the equality of the sexes - as I've stated above. It is one thing for someone not to understand what feminism is; its another to not care; and its another to continue to denounce it. Why is it that whenever someone talks about feminism, the first thing that a guy brings up with whether or not its OK to hit girls? Why is it that whenever I talk about my being a feminist, people chuckle or scold me ask why? Why are people so calm around the misogyny, etc., allowing it to take place and continue -- holding women back from accomplishments -- with mild support, but fear feminism in its act to revolutionize the world for the better.

A a gay man can't be a gay man, and one cannot transition to the gender in which he or she feels they have been from the start, and you can't like guys AND girls without being bullied online, physically attacked and beaten, or killed.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY I'M CONCERNED FOR THE WORLD: The disrespect towards the LGBTQIA community, otherwise referred as sinners, shows the disbelief in us all being humans, all being sinners. The judgement is a sick and cold behavior which has interrupted the love that I believe we were put on this earth to feel. Why is there still persecution erupting due to disfavor of your own belief? Stop acting as though you are doing a favor to God through hate and torture. GUESS WHAT: you're not. The God that I believe in taught me to love, and respect, and again, to love. If you are truly high and mighty, than you would have no need to denounce yet, another community.

I am black. I am proud to be black. I stand for black lives. I am proud to stand for black lives.

AND, LASTLY, THIS IS WHY I AM MAD: I’m angry that black lives don’t matter, but all lives do. I'm pissed that the cops are shooting black people; and still, blue lives matter; but dead black folks don't because they are dead - as is the idea of black lives ever meaning something. I’m disappointed in the amount of sense that makes. None. It doesn’t have to be me getting attacked and murdered by police for it to be personal. NEWS FLASH: it's already personal!

All of this and more is what is keeping us caged and away from freedom. Freedom? There is no such thing unless we make it for ourselves.

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