I never experienced catcalling until I moved to Chicago, but I know it happens all over the world. It's not fun, we don't enjoy it and we want it to stop.
I can't tell you how many times I've just been walking down the sidewalk, minding my own business, when a man, either young or old, decided it was a good time to hit on me. At first, I was a little flattered. It's nice to be called "beautiful" sometimes, but they usually don't stop there.
"Hey beautiful. Can I walk witchu?"
"Hey baby, how you doin'?"
"Hey girl, you're beautiful. Can I get to know you?"
"Hey baby. I just want to walk with you and get to know you."
"Hey girl, you're cute." Then, walking behind me, "Oh, yes you are."
I used to smile uncomfortably, shake my head and keep walking, but being polite just makes them feel like it's OK. It leads to them following you, talking about you with their buddies, and continuing to call out to you. It's an uncomfortable thing to deal with in the daytime, but it's terrifying at night.
It's not just the words they say, it's also how they say it. The way they look at you like you're a toy that they want to play with. The way their voice sounds a little threatening, despite the otherwise nice things they're saying. It's the stories you hear on the news about girls being kidnapped, raped and murdered. Those movies that tell the stories of girls who have been captured and beaten.
Stories of white vans grabbing girls off the street and the police finding their bodies in rivers. The fact that rape is such a big thing today and it's something that you hear about all the time. It's a fear in the back of every girl's mind.
If you pass a guy on the street, there is a part of you that fears him, even if he's the nicest guy in the world, because you never know. You never know if he has gotten away with rape or murder, because most of the stories you hear are about men you would never suspect. It was just some man on the street who smiled at you as if there was nothing wrong. It was that man in the grocery store buying lunchmeat and bread, like a normal person. It was the man who helped the woman pick up her keys when she dropped them, then followed her home. It was the man who had a little girl at home, but spent his nights roaming the streets looking for women.
You never know, so you always wonder.
I don't know if every woman thinks of these things, but I know that I am not the only one. It is a constant fear of that man on the street as your hand grips your pepper spray in your pocket, hoping that it'll help you if you ever need it.
I also know that it's not just women that are victims of things like rape, murder and kidnapping. These things happen to men, too. I just know that my biggest fear is being grabbed on the street and not being able to save myself, and I know that many other women struggle with that fear, too.
This is why we need to stand together, watch out for each other, learn to defend ourselves and teach our children that this is wrong. Teach our boys how to treat women and treat our girls how to take care of themselves. I don't know about you, but I don't want my daughter to live in fear of men and I don't want my son to be feared by women.
