NEVER Say To Someone Going Through A Breakup

5 Things You Should NEVER Say To Someone Going Through A Breakup

Maybe it's best to just say nothing at all.

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It sucks to break up with someone.

Having to deal with the emotional heartbreak that comes with a breakup and the millions of questions from people, it can be hard to feel like you will ever be okay again. With the questions comes many attempts of people saying things that are supposed to make you feel better. These can range anywhere from I've been there too, to confessions of how badly they wanted the two of you to break up. Most people tend to have good intentions with the words they say to someone struggling through a breakup, however a lot of the time the words they speak fall short of the goal.

Knowing what should and should not be said during a breakup is important and knowing specifically why it is not a great thing to say is even more important. This list gives the top five worst things to say to someone going through a breakup.

1. You'll find someone new 

If your friend just broke up with their significant other, they probably aren't ready to find someone new just yet. Hug them and validate their feelings, don't go pushing them into a new relationship.

2. Finally!

You may not have liked the relationship, but your friend did. Don't make rude unnecessary comments about a relationship you only saw from the outside.

3. I never liked them 

Let's face it, at the end of a relationship everyone feels like they should point out all of the faults that were in the relationship. But, do your friend a favor and just save the rambling about everything that was wrong with the relationship. It won't help anything at this point.

4. Don't try to stay friends 

It might be unrealistic to stay best friends, but your ex is someone that you loved a lot and cared about, of course, you're always going to care about and want to be friends with that person.

5. I know what you're going through 

No way! Really! Obviously, I am not the only one that has ever been broken up with, but you most definitely have never experienced the same feelings I have.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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Don't Rely On Others For Happiness, You're Your Own Best Friend

It's scary to be alone, but it's worth it once you realize your worth.

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I hear the stories of ugly breakups, sweet revenge and crushing defeats far too often. A person does all that they could do in that relationship, and it just falls through anyways. Sure, I have been in those situations a couple of times. But that doesn't mean it's going to put me down.

Sometimes, you may not get the closure that you need when things end. To be blunt, you just need to move on. Eventually, you will reason out why things ended the way they did, and then there will a burden that is lifted from your shoulders.

Of course, you can try to seek the closure you want. A little scenario will play out in your head and you may try your hardest to have things go the way you expect them. It all falls apart when the person completely ignores you.

One thing is certain: ostracism is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. As human beings, we depend on the help of people we feel close to. Totally rejecting someone and ignoring them is like giving them a death sentence. I'm sure we have all been in this sort of position before and it's not the best feeling.

It really is quite depressing and it's quite unfortunate that people can become insensitive to these sort of things. It's even worse when people do it on purpose.

If you did all you could do with the respect you gave graciously, and nothing is happening, then you don't earn that person anything. As I put it, you drop them like a hot pocket and continue with your life.

It would be a waste of energy to press matters further if you keep on looking for the answer that you seek. Sometimes the answer is that it what it is and you will have to accept it in that form.

If the person that ignored you reached out to you by asking how you are doing, weeks or months later after you have moved on, you should remind yourself that you don't own them anything. You could ostracize them. But in this scenario, it is not cruel.

Own it! You are free to make your own choices and live as you please. In the end, you are your own best friend and should not feel like you are missing out when someone is disrespectful to you.

Simply know your worth. Don't lower your standards when you're feeling low, don't feel as though you owe someone something after they ignored your existence, instead, stand up tall and be confident in yourself. Because in the end, you don't need them.

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