“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry”, we throw this word around like it’s nothing.
I find myself apologizing for others. When someone runs into me. When something out of my control happens to someone else. When someone does me wrong, I apologize for whatever I may have done to cause their actions. I’m not sure why we do this. I would guess it has something to so with the fact we are empathetic beings. There are one hundred percent times that a situation needs a good old amend made and that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that there are other times that we need to realize, you know what I am not sorry, I did that on purpose, I did that with the best intentions and yeah people might be upset. Don’t say sorry because that is what someone wants to hear or that’s the easiest fix. We need to learn to own what we do and I have a couple stories to show you what I mean.
Two years ago, I came home to my roommate wrapped in her pink robe, green towel on her head and red puffy eyes. When I asked her what was wrong, she said some neighbors of ours had been mean to her and blocked the elevator so she couldn’t get out and that she was upset. My roommate was and is the sweetest, most delicate and loving human you will ever meet. To make her cry would be like crushing a butterfly. I marched right over to our neighbors and ripped them a new one. I called them a mean name, which they were acting like. I told them they owed her an apology, which they did and then I walked away. The next few weeks I was called “crazy” by their friends and them and when I walked by they would mock the things I had said to them . I came very close to falling back on the ye’ old, “sorry”, then I thought to myself. Sorry? For what? Standing up for my friend and letting people know that I don’t stand for people who intentionally disrespect others. No, I absolutely would not apologize for that. If being a “crazy” means I stand up for my friends and I don’t tolerate disrespect, then that’s what I am.
When someone calls you crazy, take a second to think about what crazy really is. It’s a term tossed around almost as much as sorry. “That was a crazy party”, “Those were some crazy good tacos” and my least favorite “my crazy ex”. But crazy infers an imbalance. It is a serious condition. People who are actually crazy have a hard time functioning in this world. They have a hard time caring about others, standing up for their friends or making judgments about what is right and what is wrong. For a second just consider the situation. Think about your part and think about your intentions.
This summer, I had friend who was in a committed relationship. Except this guy was always ignoring her and giving her certain times that he would be available to talk in the week and other times she shouldn’t contact him at all. One night they had plans to go out and he never got in contact with her. Later she learned that he was out with his buddies instead. She ended up going out to drink and woke up the next morning with an alarming amount of texts and calls that she had made to him. Naturally the first thing she did was send him an apology message. This is hard for a lot of people to swallow, but why did she apologize? Were the texts aggressive? Were the calls threatening? No. Her intentions were that she wanted to see him and be with him because she cared about him. He was in the wrong, he had bailed and was the one who owed her an apology. Again she began to be called, “crazy” for her needy ways. If “crazy” is caring about someone and trying to get a hold of them, even after they have bailed on you or made you feel like you mean nothing to them, then so be it. Caring for others is nothing to be sorry about; sticking with people who make you feel worthless, is.
If you say sorry, make sure you mean it and see what you can do to make things right. But if you’re not sorry, you’re not sorry. Even if people start to loosely pin you with that word, "crazy". That’s okay. You don’t ever need to apologize for your well-intended actions, no matter how misunderstood they are. Sometimes people get upset when you don't act how they would like you to act in a situation. What other people want is out of your control and nothing you have power over. The only person you need to take responsibility for is yourself, now isn’t that crazy?
