I wish I had nightmares.
Well, not just nightmares. I wish I dreamed more often, or could remember them, anyway. But I wish I had nightmares, because your simple, everyday, bone-chilling, wake-up-in-a-sweat nightmares are a walk in the park compared to what I deal with.
Have you ever woken up in the dead of the night, and found yourself unable to move? You're completely paralyzed! You can look around, and you know you're in your bed in your room, but your body is frozen still. And then the panic sets in. You try to move, but with no avail. You start to freak out, but then you see it. You hear it. You feel it. What is it? Maybe it's this overwhelming sense of fear drowning you. Or maybe you see a glimpse of a shadowy figure, edging its way closer and closer to you. You can hear the dark whispers, the tapping, the breathing of something in your room. You think something is about to get you. You try your hardest to move, to scream, but you have no voice, you have no chance of help. It's getting closer, and closer, and--
You wake up.
For real this time.
Sleep Paralysis is a fun thing, isn't it? Sleep Paralysis is when you don't transition through the phases of sleep smoothly. It can get kind of wordy to explain, so I'll keep it brief. Basically, your body is in it's paralyzed state like it does during sleep, but your mind doesn't get the memo to take a rest. So, it stays awake. This leaves you with the ability to see, but not move. This weird phenomenon also induces hallucinations, which makes it terrifying. People have reported seeing shadow people, demons, hearing things, and feelings of something choking them. There's no way to end it, it's something you just have to wait out. Sometimes wiggling around your toes and feet help, but sometimes it doesn't.
Personally, I haven't seen things except for my very first episode about 3 years ago. I'd fallen asleep in the middle of the day, and I woke up and couldn't move. I felt very scared, and looked around in my room and saw this demonic darkness in the corner of the ceiling. It wasn't very fun. I don't get episodes anymore, but when I do, I won't sleep for a few nights because of it. Because I'm completely aware when it's happening. "Oh boy, not this again. I just wanted peaceful sleep," is the actual thought I had when I realized what was happening one time. Even though I know what's happening, and even though I understand the scientific reasoning behind it, I still get the uncontrollable sense of fear overpowering me. I usually hear things, like tapping on a wall, or feeling like I'm being choked. The most recent episode I had felt as though I was being smashed down and held against my bed--as if my head was being shoved into the headboard. But I'm fine. You always end up fine.
My tips?
Try to lay on your side or tummy. Sometimes laying on your back makes it easier for it to happen.
When you realize whats going on, take a deep breath and try to relax.
If you can, try and force yourself to move your hands and feet.
Or sometimes, you can just go back to sleep.
Much Love,
Britt.
PS, check out these links if you wanna know more!
