When people tell you, "Honey, god has blessed you with curves," you just have to politely shake your head yes, and silently think to yourself, "If only you knew this blessing was a curse." Yes, breasts are a big deal to most people, but the girls that don't have that perfect cup size of a 34C, and were graced with a little more, face daily problems that no one else understands.
1. Crossing your arms is a difficult task.
If you cross your arms to high, if feels like your arms are sitting on a shelf. If you cross your arms to low then it feels like a heavy weight is resting on your arms and quickly becomes uncomfortable. Moral to the story -- don't cross.
2. When you sit down at a desk or table you have to rest them on top.
When you are blessed in the chest you endure many struggles, but one of the best is when you sit down at the table and cannot decide if the table is in the way, or your chest. You squirm in your seat for a little bit, trying to maneuver yourself to fit comfortably until you decide the best way to sit at the table is to just rest your chest right on top.
3. Running is a painful task and it usually takes at least two bras to keep them secure.
Running will forever be a busty girl's worst enemy. Every step you take, your breasts move with you and when you pick up the pace -- well, you could potentially knock yourself out. So the solution is to wear a real bra underneath your sports bra to try and keep the girls secure, but it never truly works. So you either endure the physical and mental pain that comes with running, or you don't run at all.
4. If boys aren't making a comment about them, your friends are.
You will never live it down. Everyone for some reason wants to remind you that your boobs are huge -- as if you did not already know. The funniest thing to realize is that it's usually your best friends -- rather than boys -- that enjoy making jokes and always bringing them up in conversation.
5. Your back always hurts.
They always say, "Don't slouch, fix your posture." Well the people who say that don't have up to five pounds weighing them down. The most un-perky problem busty girls face is the fact that their chest physically hurts their back by the end of the day.
6. Flowy tops and dresses make you look like you are wearing a tent.
Clothes, underwear, and bathing suits will always be a problem when you are a double-D and up. So you might as well find the silver lining, it is almost like we can do this cool magic trick, when ever busty girls decide to wear a flowy top or dress it turns into a tent. But it is okay -- tents are cool!
7. You always have to go up a size to fit your chest, but then it is too big on your waist.
There is no such thing as one size fits all, also there is no such thing as a one size for one person. Your top half is always a medium or large and your bottom half is something different. So you just have to learn to live with the fact that your chest will always make you go up a size even if your bottom half does not want that.
8. Food always gets lost in the danger Double-D zone.
It is always fun to be reminded of the junk food you ate earlier that day, and that is exactly what your cleavage does. By the end of the day, when you get to experience a true blessing -- taking off your bra -- you also find crumbs of snacks hidden in the forbidden area. So do not be alarmed when you find chips and popcorn where you least expect it to be.
9. Every hug you give, you feel there is a third person between you.
Everyone loves a warm hug, but when you have big boobs you start to wonder if your hugs are being abused. Then you start to think about what a hug involves, and you get really insecure because you think about the fact that every hug you give feels like there is another person in between you and the one you are hugging.
10. The last not so perky perk of Double Ds is when you wear a push-up bra; instead of pushing your breasts up to the appropriate height you have created a shelf.
Boobs come with so many unfortunate skills -- they can build tents, hold your snacks for later, and make people want to hug you, but one of their best skills is that they double as a shelf. All you wanted to do was avoid gravity and give your boobs a little boost, but attempting to wear a push-up bra to give you a lift just turns your boobs into a shelf. So moral of the story, there is just no way to win if you are a blessed in the chest.
