In my house, we’re allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Nowadays the gift is chosen for me (usually some pj’s), but when I was little I could choose any gift under the tree. I’d watch my siblings open all of their gifts first, evaluate how much I liked what they got and look to see if I had a package like that. My whole strategy was to pick the one thing I couldn’t wait to open. I wanted that thing that would leave me both content with what I had and excited for what was to come. I feel like that present now. That one gift that I couldn’t wait to open, that makes me content with where I am, and where I’m going or how I’m growing is me.

I want to start with something you may or may not hear enough: You are amazing. You are absolutely and completely amazing or to quote Pastor Mary, “You are enough.” You don’t need to add anything to yourself or take things away. You don’t need to alter yourself to fit in or be attractive. You are enough.

Growth is necessary, we continuously grow into who we are becoming, but growth doesn’t change who you were meant to be, and it doesn’t mean hiding who you currently are. Growth is about being patient with yourself as you move forward.

In Western culture, there’s this strange idea that a person isn’t complete until they’re married or they've at least met someone who grows them. In the movies there’s always a guy (or girl) who shows the girl (or guy) how to truly be his or herself. They awaken the dormant pieces of one another and begin to rely on each other to keep those pieces going. As a child I never questioned this. I sang along to "The Cheetah Girls" about rescuing myself and the girl in "Pixel Perfect" about changing herself for a guy.

The idea of one person being completed by another or of giving themselves away is a dangerous one. This idea claims that you’re not a whole person on your own. You are a complete person (if you didn’t realize this, then I’m glad to be the one to tell you). You are also a whole person in whatever condition you may be in, however you feel about yourself or the world. This is why growth is so important. You have to be patient with yourself. Don’t hide who you are from anyone. The person you are is amazing even when you can’t see it.

Are you all starting to see what I’m getting at? I’m not saving myself for marriage, because I’m not saving myself. I’m not waiting for someone to discover me. I’m not hiding the pieces of me that are strange or embarrassing or absolutely amazing. I’m not stuffing myself into an acceptable box until it’s opened by someone who’s bound to keep the contents. I’m not pretending to be someone or something that I’m not.

Over the past year I spent a lot of time learning about myself and growing in ways I didn’t expect. I found out how much stress I can handle. I saw the negative effects of how I’ve dealt with conflict. I found a gift in gift giving. And I saw beauty in each thing I discovered. This year I’m focusing on unfolding and embracing this person I forgot about. The timing is a little rough, but I’m not waiting to embody the person I was created to be.

I’m not sure what this looks like yet in my day to day life, and I know I still have quite a ways to go before that person really comes to light. But in the meantime I’m being patient with the person I know today and guiding her towards growth. I’m learning things (known and unknown) about myself everyday. And all I have to do is slow down, reflect, and be patient...