It is time for a confession: I am almost 19 years old and have never had my first date. I have actually never "talked" to a guy.
I was never one of those girls in high school that had boys following her around, no one ever asked me out, and no one ever asked for my number. There was a point when I was the only person in my friend group who didn't have a guy in her life. At the time, I was lonely. What I know now, though, and wish I could go back and tell myself, is that it is all going to be OK.
First off ladies, you don't need to have a guy to validate who you are. I thought that I needed a boyfriend to tell me that it was all going to be OK, that I was pretty, that I would do OK on this test, and the list goes on and on. Something I've learned in the past year is that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I am surrounded by pretty, stick thin girls who have guys falling head over heels for them; yet I spent last Friday night watching New Girl and writing papers alone. Here is the real kicker, though: I enjoyed it. That is something I never imagined myself saying, especially when I think of what I experienced in the dating world this past year. Winter break was hard for me this year, because all of my friends from home had boyfriends at the time. There were a lot of things I wasn't invited to or involved in that happened over break. I spent a lot of time at home wallowing in feelings of "They've moved on and have better friends now," or "They have boyfriends and don't need me in their lives anymore." Of course, those things aren't true and it was just my crazy side talking. But little did I know that getting to spend extra time at home with my family and experiencing that loneliness would lead to such an extraordinary blessing: I realized that I didn't need a guy in my life to validate me or my situations.
I am not saying that I have always been accepting of the fact that I've never been in the dating game. High school was hard, and I felt as if I was missing out on something important, like there was a secret club of all the dating girls and I was the only one not in it. If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be to not stress about getting a boyfriend. There are so many more important things to concern yourself with, at any stage of life! I have realized this year that while the loneliness can get to you sometimes, I would much rather spend my Friday nights studying and paying attention to my school work or listening to The Sound of Music soundtrack on vinyl with my single friends.
Periods of singleness can be a blessing if you let it. Spend time with your other single friends, hang out with your family, get ahead (or catch up, in my case) on your school work, and most importantly, spend time in the word of God, and pray for your future boyfriend/husband. Dating has never been something I have taken lightly. I always wanted to date for marriage. I want someone who will respect me and my boundaries. I want to date someone wants to partake in the mundane aspects of life with me, someone who would share my worries, stresses and burdens. But that is not the purpose of a boyfriend. Sure, he can help you, but the only person who is strong enough to take that burden from you isn't a person at all, it's our Heavenly Father.
Right now, I comprehend that I am not in a time in my life where a boyfriend is God's plan for me. I want to take this time to focus on things that are important to me. I want God to prepare my heart in this period to be a good girlfriend, one who will use her relationship to glorify Him.
So don't worry if you are a single pringle, enjoy it!
