16 Signs You Are SO Not A People Person, As Diagnosed By Dr. Gregory House

16 Signs You Are SO Not A People Person, As Diagnosed By Dr. Gregory House

You're not terrible. Everyone else is.

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Do you find yourself hiding under the covers at the very thought of socializing? Do crowds and complete strangers make you wish you could stay indoors for the rest of your life?

If so, you probably aren't a people person. And that's OK.

There are a ton of awesome, antisocial people out there. Doctor House, for instance.

If you can relate to any of the following situations, you probably aren't about that people life. Welcome to the club. (Of course, it's a club where we all avoid one another. Because ugh, small talk.)

1. You assume you won't like people, even before you meet them.

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In fact, this is something your friends call you out on. Often.

2. Disliking people is basically habitual at this point.

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It isn't your fault that they consistently prove you right.

3. You can't stand running into people you know in public.

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Your Jedi mind powers just never seem to work when you need them.

4. You're not above making yourself look busy to avoid speaking to someone.

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You just happen to get super swamped when other people are around. Total coincidence.

5. You firmly believe that all phone calls can and should be text messages.

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But seriously, why did this require a full-fledged conversation?

6. You'll say anything to get out of unexpected plans.

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Seriously, anything.

7. Small talk makes you so, so uncomfortable.

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They don't really want to know how you're doing, so why bother asking?

8. You don't comprehend why people find the need to voice half the things they do.

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No, Karen. No one cares what you cooked for dinner last night.

9. You really try to act interested, but it's just so hard.

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Don't worry. If you just say "wow" and "that's crazy" a lot, they'll think you're still listening.

10. You have zero patience for stupidity.

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I mean, why can't people just think before opening their mouths?

11. Sometimes, you just can't control your facial expressions when people speak.

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If your friends are constantly telling you to "fix your face," this one's for you.

12. You've been known to offend someone every now and again.

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You almost feel bad, but they probably deserved it.

13. Interacting with other humans all day really takes its toll on you.

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Who knew putting on a friendly face could be so exhausting?

14. Going over your people limit really isn't great for your mental health.

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Or your liver, for that matter.

15. Lonely isn't a concept you're familiar with.

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Wait a minute. There are people who actually dislike spending time by themselves?

16. The only people you do enjoy spending time with are people like you.

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Other weird, antisocial humans? Don't you mean best friends?

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NBC Universal

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10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

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And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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Gypsy Rose Is A Victim And Should NOT Be In Prison For Her Mother's Murder

Watch "The Act," and you will know why!

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By now, everyone has heard of the new Hulu show called "The Act" which is centered around the case of Gypsy Rose Blanchard whose mother forced her to be sick in order to get money and sympathy, so she and her boyfriend ended up killing her and are now serving time in prison.

She and her mother were the center of many news stories. They went on a lot of charity trips through the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and they also received a lot of generous donations from strangers. Her mother claimed that she had all of these conditions, and what is scary is that everyone easily believed her.

One of the first times I had ever heard of this case was through this Buzzfeed article. It was very detailed and very scary as well that a parent would do that to her child when most parents hope for their kids to be happy and healthy.

Of course some people are quick to blame Gypsy because yes murder is bad, however, she sadly felt like this was her only way to escape her abusive mother. She had tried to escape, but her mother always found out and she ended up back in her arms.

I recently watched a documentary with her in it called "Mommy Dead and Dearest"—it was on HBO, but you can always find it somewhere on YouTube—where they have interviews with her family, people who knew her, and Gypsy herself.

After reading the whole story, I can't believe that a mother would do that, but it is believed that she had Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy

This mother was taking her daughter to the emergency room for little things such as a cough or a scraped knee trying to convince doctors that she had something wrong with her when in reality she was perfectly fine.

While the mother is to blame for what happened, the doctors weren't any better either. If they didn't find anything wrong with Gypsy then maybe they should have called the police on her mother or refuse to treat Gypsy because there was nothing wrong with her. I always wonder how her mother was able to get away with it for so long. I thought with the doctors' training that they would be able to spot a fake illness and report it to the police right away.

If you have Hulu, I would recommend watching "The Act." While it may not be all accurate, as most true crime shows are dramatized, it does bring awareness to this condition and Gypsy's story. I would also recommend watching the documentary as well, whether you have HBO or you find it on YouTube, it is worth your time to know the full story.

Here is hoping that Gypsy is able to get an early release and can have a normal life that her mom robbed her of.

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