A lesson to the person who should have been teaching me.
You are ignorant and this has not wavered, so let me make something clear to you. I do not want to see you. I am seventeen years old with a mind of my own and I'm choosing not to see you.
This is an issue many children of separated or divorced parents face, that many do not know how to deal with, usually because they do not know what it is. Parent alienation is a serious issue, but what you believe is creating another issue. What you believe the issue is, is actually the complete opposite.
The definition of Parent Alienation is...
Violent behaviors that are mentally and emotionally damaging to a child's well-being, and can interfere with the relationship between a child and a parent. These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems. ~ read more at http://www.paawareness.org/
Sir, what you are claiming is that you are sane. You believe that my mother is the cause for all of your issues and why I haven't seen or spoken to you in five years. What you think is that your children have been ripped from your care, when really you are the one to blame.
"Sir" is what I will call you, for you are a stranger to me. You are not a father nor a dad to me. I keep your name in vain and it will never roll off my tongue again. Don't be mistaken though, sir, just because I choose to address you this way does not mean I have the utmost respect for you.
I gave you countless chances to keep a position in my life and you deserve no more. Excuse me for holding a grudge, but sir, I will not keep my sanity or my safety unless you are out of my life.
It had to come to this, that I write to you in public, for you to really see that I have my own opinions of you and am not afraid to express them. I could identify every truth and lie in your letter to me, I was not fooled by you. Unless you choose to find help, to take care of yourself, to admit your wrongs and to take responsibility for everything you did and need to do to take care of me.
Only then will I think about opening myself up to you again.
Parent Alienation is when a parent, Parent A, who lives with their children accuses the other parent, Parent B, of falsehoods and alienates Parent B from their kids. Parent Alienation convinces the kids that the accused parent .(Parent B) is the one to blame.
You believe that my mother is accusing you of these falsehoods and feeding my sister and I lies. You couldn't be more wrong. What is happening here is that you are blaming my mother for alienating us from you, when in reality, and in layman's terms, we do not want to see you because you are mentally unstable and mean to us.
My mother is an amazing woman. She is strong, brave and very smart. Anyone who has the audacity to mess with her must be very ballsy, but also wrong. When she is wrong she admits to it, she takes responsibility for not only her own actions, but for others. She has single-handedly raised both my sister and me through a very hard childhood, she has raised us to make good decisions, and to be responsible and to form our own opinions. I cannot thank her enough for what she has done for me.
Let me teach you the real definition of what you have put me through...
Violent behaviors that are mentally and emotionally damaging to a child's well-being, and can interfere with the relationship between a child and a parent. These behaviors, whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied by a parent with issues of their own to try to make their children believe that the parent they chose to be with is the wrong parent and verbally bashes them every possible chance they get.
This does not cause the child to pick the parent with issues, but cut them out. I and many other kids will choose the parent they already chose to be with to a higher extent. You have bashed my mom, my sister and me. You are not being alienated by my mother. You have pushed my sister and me away in the worst way possible and have alienated yourself from us.
Sir, you have taken many things away from me by not taking responsibility for what you need to. So many opportunities that I missed out on or had more trouble doing because of you and I will have a harder time getting through college because of your lack of mental and financial support.
But, I have to thank you sir. You gave me an amazing extended family, and an example of what not to become. I will medicate and take care of myself when needed, I will never purposely hurt the person that I am in a relationship with, and I will treat my kids properly and with respect.
Most of all, though, I did it without you. I didn't need you at all.
I know that not even this will make you realize what you have done is wrong, and that is okay. I wrote this not for you, but for me and for other kids who don't feel confident enough to address their issues or the person who caused them. Parent Alienation alone is a serious issue, but this is not Parent Alienation in which my mother is keeping you from seeing us.
This is your own fault by you mentally and physically abusing my sister and me to a point where we want you out of our lives.
