I'm Not Just Single

I'm Not Just Single

There's more to a person than a relationship status.
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Recently, it came to my attention that I am single *GASP*. I received this information indirectly and was astonished to learn it was so important to others! Why didn't I ever assume that was why I didn't have a "swolemate" or someone to binge watch Netflix with?

Let me begin by saying, I am in no way trying to tear down anyone in a relationship. I believe all those in relationships are different and just as important as those that aren't. My concern is that nowadays, it seems every corner I turn, I find some sort of media describing how to find your soulmate. Whether it be MTV's television drama, "Are You The One" (which I am guilty of watching) or reading articles about "Guide To Finding The Right Guy." I even hear it from my family, wondering why I haven't brought a guy around lately or questioning if I may even be "asexual" because I don't seem concerned with dating.

Society as a whole has deconstructed what it means to just be a person. It seems if you're not in a relationship, you hold a lesser title to those that do. Yes, I've fallen into the cliches or saying "forever alone" as a joke and embracing my love of food over men; nonetheless, I am a girl in her 20's who still has every aspiration of being married someday. That day is just not today.

I'm a Catholic so I do believe in God and what he has to offer me. I believe there is a higher power above us which can see far greater into our futures than we can. I am single and perfectly content with this because I know there is a reason for my current situation. I am not granted more than I can handle nor am I turned away from people/opportunities in which I need. If He believed that I was destined to have a committed relationship at 20 years old than I would.

Of course I've questioned His motives. He has brought men into my life as quickly as he has brought them out. Not because I was not worthy of someone or because I couldn't keep them satisfied. He brought them into my life to show me that there are more people out there than I realize and allow me the chance to grow. He has also taken people out of my life on account of they no longer serve a purpose for me. There is more harm being created from them than there is good. Over time I have learned to agree with the reasoning's of God and continue to lead me down the right path.

Being 20 and in college is stressful. You're critiqued by how you dress, what major you're in, and whether or not you're dating. Dating in college is a whole other topic to begin with (which I'll save for another day). There are days I would love to be going out to dinner and seeing a movie with a boyfriend; however, there are also days where I know I don't currently need someone like that in my life. Having a companion is about having someone that brings out the best in you and encourages you to pursue your dreams. I have met some great guys while being in college, but I don't believe they have brought out the best in me.

I believed that there was more for me out there than what I was being given. Right now, I am just a young girl looking to pursue her dreams of being in the medical field. This is my goal and this is also the goal I know God sees for me. If he believed I was destined to have a significant other in my life at the moment than I would. For now, I am enjoying that I am single. I am enjoying that I can depend upon myself to finish what I've set out to do.

There is no need to compare one another according to our relationship status. At the end of the day, we are all human looking for a bigger purpose in life. I will not let my relationship status determine my happiness nor will I let the negativity I've been granted for being single affect me. Eventually I will meet the man I was supposed to, but for now...I am single. I am happy. I will make a difference.

Cover Image Credit: Life Hack

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To All The Boys Who Can’t Commit

A letter from God-loving girls who are waiting for an answer
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Hey Boy,

Why are you so afraid of committing anyways?

Right, I hear you. You have your own stories, baggage, and fear. Commitment is scary and risky, but life wouldn’t be worth living if there’s no risk or adventures involved, right? Better loved and get hurt than never have loved. Right, there’s no guarantee if we’re gonna work out or not, but that’s part of life. No one ever knows what is gonna happen except for God.

All we can do is to just hold on to whatever we have and fight for whatever we believe in, hoping that we made the right decision that will last into future. If it’s not meant to be, then there’s really nothing we can do. But at least we tried, loved, and fully and fearlessly enjoyed what we have. Then, we’ll move on to accept whatever God had planned for us next.

Remember, though, even if it doesn’t work out between us, we did NOT make a wrong choice. It’s still part of God’s plan because He’s teaching us and shaping us into who we need to be for the future. Boy, you’re right. Bad endings might happen. No matter how much we love and care for each other right now, there’s no promise we will work out and be together forever.

All we can do is to choose to love each other every chance we have, treasure what we have every step of the way, and enjoy what we share every second of the days. I know, it’s very scary to not know what is gonna happen. But sometimes, most of the times, you just have to take a leap of faith.

When I was working at a middle-schooler summer camp, we had this “leap of faith” activity. A camper will climb up a pole to about 30 feet off of the ground, and then jump from the platform to reach for a bar hanging about 6 feet in front of them in the air. The leap is no doubt scary, even when you know you have the harness on. But, you just have to jump. Just commit. Then, you’ll find out it’s not so scary after all. If you can grab the ‘bar’, GREAT! If you miss the ‘bar’, at least you can proudly say that you tried and survived. No, not just survived. You experienced, learned, grew, and became a better/braver you.

Of course, when you’re taking the leap, you’re not gonna go in expecting or even planning to fail. That’s not helpful and you’ll know you didn’t give it everything you have. No, you’ll stand at the edge of that platform, take a deep breath, fix your eyes on that bar, and then give every ounce of strength you have to reach for that bar. You will try with all your heart to make the relationship work and keep your commitment. Only then can you say you’ve tried and that’s just the way it has to be.

But also know that you can’t fail in this. If you grabbed the bar and kept your commitment, you earned the applause and love for you. If you “fail” to grab the bar or have to break off the relationship, you know you learned and gained something in the process.

God designed this to help you grow so that next time when you’re standing on the platform, your heart may still pound and your palms may still sweat, but you know you are brave enough to take the leap and enjoy the view. God will never give up on you, just like the harness will keep you safe. Sure, it will be uncomfortable when you fall and get wedges from the tight harness. But, you know deep down that you’re always SAFE.

So Boy, if you’re afraid to commit because you’re afraid to fail, take that leap of faith, because there’s no way you can fail in God’s hands.

Much love,

Girl

P.S. I promise we’re still gonna be friends if it doesn’t work out, as long as you still want to be friends.

Cover Image Credit: Pexel

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The Game-Changing Relationship Rule That Will Save Your Love Life

It's all about finding that perfect harmony.
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If you’re not finding any luck in the dating field, or even if you just want to give your current relationship a quick checkup, this simple relationship rule can go pretty far. Relationships often boil down to selfishness vs selflessness, which can be a pretty tricky mess to untangle. See if my rule works for you, too.

When relationships fail, it usually comes down to one single factor that caused every following problem and argument- that at least one of the partners doesn’t care for the other more than they care for themselves. That’s the definition of love right there, to truly value someone else’s happiness more than you value and protect your own.

He cheated? He did it because he was more concerned for his short-term happiness than he was for your long-term happiness. She doesn’t prioritize you over her friends? It’s because it’s easier to make herself happy than it is to make you happy, and she doesn’t value you enough to put in the effort to make sure you’re comfortable. Any problem in a relationship can essentially boil down to this.

In an ideal relationship, each person is constantly striving to ensure the other’s comfort and happiness, while simultaneously enjoying the comfort and happiness being provided to them. This equivalent exchange of effort creates a yin-and-yang sort of harmony, reliant only on itself to be propelled into action.

You should love your partner enough that if being with someone else would make them happier than being with you, you’d rather see them be with that person than with yourself- because you value their happiness over your own. Hopefully, your partner would feel the same if the situation were reversed.

Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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