I'm Not Just Single

I'm Not Just Single

There's more to a person than a relationship status.

Recently, it came to my attention that I am single *GASP*. I received this information indirectly and was astonished to learn it was so important to others! Why didn't I ever assume that was why I didn't have a "swolemate" or someone to binge watch Netflix with?

Let me begin by saying, I am in no way trying to tear down anyone in a relationship. I believe all those in relationships are different and just as important as those that aren't. My concern is that nowadays, it seems every corner I turn, I find some sort of media describing how to find your soulmate. Whether it be MTV's television drama, "Are You The One" (which I am guilty of watching) or reading articles about "Guide To Finding The Right Guy." I even hear it from my family, wondering why I haven't brought a guy around lately or questioning if I may even be "asexual" because I don't seem concerned with dating.

Society as a whole has deconstructed what it means to just be a person. It seems if you're not in a relationship, you hold a lesser title to those that do. Yes, I've fallen into the cliches or saying "forever alone" as a joke and embracing my love of food over men; nonetheless, I am a girl in her 20's who still has every aspiration of being married someday. That day is just not today.

I'm a Catholic so I do believe in God and what he has to offer me. I believe there is a higher power above us which can see far greater into our futures than we can. I am single and perfectly content with this because I know there is a reason for my current situation. I am not granted more than I can handle nor am I turned away from people/opportunities in which I need. If He believed that I was destined to have a committed relationship at 20 years old than I would.

Of course I've questioned His motives. He has brought men into my life as quickly as he has brought them out. Not because I was not worthy of someone or because I couldn't keep them satisfied. He brought them into my life to show me that there are more people out there than I realize and allow me the chance to grow. He has also taken people out of my life on account of they no longer serve a purpose for me. There is more harm being created from them than there is good. Over time I have learned to agree with the reasoning's of God and continue to lead me down the right path.

Being 20 and in college is stressful. You're critiqued by how you dress, what major you're in, and whether or not you're dating. Dating in college is a whole other topic to begin with (which I'll save for another day). There are days I would love to be going out to dinner and seeing a movie with a boyfriend; however, there are also days where I know I don't currently need someone like that in my life. Having a companion is about having someone that brings out the best in you and encourages you to pursue your dreams. I have met some great guys while being in college, but I don't believe they have brought out the best in me.

I believed that there was more for me out there than what I was being given. Right now, I am just a young girl looking to pursue her dreams of being in the medical field. This is my goal and this is also the goal I know God sees for me. If he believed I was destined to have a significant other in my life at the moment than I would. For now, I am enjoying that I am single. I am enjoying that I can depend upon myself to finish what I've set out to do.

There is no need to compare one another according to our relationship status. At the end of the day, we are all human looking for a bigger purpose in life. I will not let my relationship status determine my happiness nor will I let the negativity I've been granted for being single affect me. Eventually I will meet the man I was supposed to, but for now...I am single. I am happy. I will make a difference.

Cover Image Credit: Life Hack

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To The College Student Who Is Too Overwhelmed For A Relationship, You're Strong Enough On Your Own

Sorry, I can't date you because you don't fit into my color-coded, pre-scheduled day.


With the holidays coming up I'd like to share this fact: I. am. too. busy. for. boys.

We all hear constantly, from parents, relatives, and friends: "when are you going to settle down and find someone?"

The answer: once I'm done with vet school, or whatever else I want to achieve.

I am taking 19 credits, working 30 hours a week, desperately trying to find time to have some alone time when a resident isn't knocking or I'm not studying organic chemistry for eight hours straight. I barely have time to go to the gym, or lie on my floor and cry. Am I really going to have time to go on a date with another Chad and make small talk about the Patriots scores until my ears fall off? Nope, definitely not. Personally, I would rather spend my few moments of free time with my friends or with animals.

Even though I've explained this multiple times, I still get the family member asking me about boyfriends or presuming I am homosexual since I've never had a relationship. I just don't have the time or energy to put into another person when I am barely sleeping six hours a night. I have pre-scheduled shower times, do you really think I can go out and get coffee and share my feelings?

Vet school is the hardest thing I might have to do in my whole life, and I'm sure that others can agree with their chosen careers. I will not lose sight of my dreams because someone told me I should find a boyfriend.

"But being with someone might help you relieve stress!" Find me an unproblematic boy who is over 6-ft, willing to sit with me while I do homework in complete silence, hang out maybe once a week, barely text me, spend time with my friends, and then I'll believe you. I don't want someone to have to sacrifice their time when I am not willing to sacrifice mine for theirs. It's not fair to either of us.

If you're in the same boat as me, do what I do, and just ramble about everything you're doing until they get overwhelmed and stop asking. If they don't stop, kindly lie and say you're currently in the midst of seeing someone and then describe the plot of an obscure romance movie you watched when you were 13. This should work on family members, friends, and the occasional boy you really don't want to talk to.

Always remember: do not be ashamed of not having anybody, because it means you're plenty strong on your own. Don't focus on the pressures placed on you to find someone and settle down. You don't need validation from anyone on your life and your decisions. Please do not jump into a relationship with the first person you can because you feel you have to. If things work out, great, but make sure you can handle all the commitments you're juggling.

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