I'm Not Just Single

I'm Not Just Single

There's more to a person than a relationship status.

Recently, it came to my attention that I am single *GASP*. I received this information indirectly and was astonished to learn it was so important to others! Why didn't I ever assume that was why I didn't have a "swolemate" or someone to binge watch Netflix with?

Let me begin by saying, I am in no way trying to tear down anyone in a relationship. I believe all those in relationships are different and just as important as those that aren't. My concern is that nowadays, it seems every corner I turn, I find some sort of media describing how to find your soulmate. Whether it be MTV's television drama, "Are You The One" (which I am guilty of watching) or reading articles about "Guide To Finding The Right Guy." I even hear it from my family, wondering why I haven't brought a guy around lately or questioning if I may even be "asexual" because I don't seem concerned with dating.

Society as a whole has deconstructed what it means to just be a person. It seems if you're not in a relationship, you hold a lesser title to those that do. Yes, I've fallen into the cliches or saying "forever alone" as a joke and embracing my love of food over men; nonetheless, I am a girl in her 20's who still has every aspiration of being married someday. That day is just not today.

I'm a Catholic so I do believe in God and what he has to offer me. I believe there is a higher power above us which can see far greater into our futures than we can. I am single and perfectly content with this because I know there is a reason for my current situation. I am not granted more than I can handle nor am I turned away from people/opportunities in which I need. If He believed that I was destined to have a committed relationship at 20 years old than I would.

Of course I've questioned His motives. He has brought men into my life as quickly as he has brought them out. Not because I was not worthy of someone or because I couldn't keep them satisfied. He brought them into my life to show me that there are more people out there than I realize and allow me the chance to grow. He has also taken people out of my life on account of they no longer serve a purpose for me. There is more harm being created from them than there is good. Over time I have learned to agree with the reasoning's of God and continue to lead me down the right path.

Being 20 and in college is stressful. You're critiqued by how you dress, what major you're in, and whether or not you're dating. Dating in college is a whole other topic to begin with (which I'll save for another day). There are days I would love to be going out to dinner and seeing a movie with a boyfriend; however, there are also days where I know I don't currently need someone like that in my life. Having a companion is about having someone that brings out the best in you and encourages you to pursue your dreams. I have met some great guys while being in college, but I don't believe they have brought out the best in me.

I believed that there was more for me out there than what I was being given. Right now, I am just a young girl looking to pursue her dreams of being in the medical field. This is my goal and this is also the goal I know God sees for me. If he believed I was destined to have a significant other in my life at the moment than I would. For now, I am enjoying that I am single. I am enjoying that I can depend upon myself to finish what I've set out to do.

There is no need to compare one another according to our relationship status. At the end of the day, we are all human looking for a bigger purpose in life. I will not let my relationship status determine my happiness nor will I let the negativity I've been granted for being single affect me. Eventually I will meet the man I was supposed to, but for now...I am single. I am happy. I will make a difference.

Cover Image Credit: Life Hack

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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To The Girl Always Flying Solo, It’s Time To Own Your Relationship Status

Don’t hide it. Be confident in being single.

Raise your hand if you’re the girl who always flies solo.

You go to parties alone and stand in the back because you don’t have a date.

You go to weddings by yourself and people say, ‘don’t worry dear, your time will come.’

Then, there are the everyday activities you do alone. You go grocery shopping alone, eat out alone and maybe you even sit in a movie theater alone.

After a while, you get tired of being the one who is always single and never has a date. Friends start to feel bad for you, so they try playing matchmaker. Even that tends to get old.

In today’s world, it’s incredibly hard to not feel the tiniest pang of anger when you see the flood of cute couples pictures on social media.

Sometimes, it may feel like it’s all in your face, but no relationship is ever perfect. Even if the couple looks like they have it all together, odds are they don’t.

Don't let what you see on social media get you down.

There is no shame in having your Facebook relationship status set on single. Yeah, it’s been set on single for years, but who cares. Maybe it’s been set on single since the day you made your account.

The only person who notices is YOU.

The person you are is more than enough, and you alone will outshine any relationship you see on social media.

Over the years, I’ve gone to my fair share of weddings and parties alone. It’s not that I didn’t want a date or I didn’t have anyone to ask. I simply chose to go alone.

Now, I’m not going to lie because there were many times I felt uncomfortable being alone when everyone else had a date. There was a point in time where I let that feeling get to me, and it kept me from going out.

I was tired of people asking me if I was seeing anyone, and when I replied no, the next question was why. Suddenly, my personal life was their business, and it made me feel even worse.

That's when I realized how INSANE it was for me to feel bad about myself for being single.

There is nothing wrong with not having someone by your side. You don’t need a boyfriend or a date to make you feel confident.

Now, it’s time to be confident in yourself and proud of who you are. You are the girl who flies solo, and it’s time you own it. You can turn heads all on your own. Your confidence will show others you are comfortable in your own shoes.

Your relationship status does not define you.

Instead, you should be shouting it because you are you, and you are amazing. There will be times you wish you had someone, and you might even feel lonely. There will be times others might judge you, but no one can take away your confidence.

If you’re one of the many who always flies solo, keep your head up, and keep living that single lady life.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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