Beautiful, strong, bright, a light to the world. These are just a few ways I would describe you, dear friend. It seems as if you were just here. Just lying on the couch with me. Just holding my hand and being my rock. It seems like you are going to pop around the corner any time now. But, you're not. You're gone from this mortal world. You have moved on to paradise.
When you were able to be seen by the human eye, you were such a light to all of us here on Earth. You brought so much joy to all of our lives. You kept us all afloat and made us all stronger. You taught us how to live, taught us how to be free and taught us how to be a true friend. What we couldn't see was what was going on inside. We had no idea how much you were hurting, how much you were going through. You focused all of you energy on us, not yourself.
I still have so many questions. Why? Was it something I said? Was it something I didn't say? What really happened the night before? What was going through your head? In your last moments, were you sad? Were you mad? Did you feel overwhelmed? Or did you feel free?
I miss you so much. I miss you more than you could ever know. My heart used to be whole, but you took a piece of it with you when you left. That piece, it will always belong to you, take it with you. Keep it forever. I only wish I would have told you. Told you how much you mean to me. Told you how you changed my life. Told you what you have taught me. Told you how beautiful you are. Told you how smart you are. Told you everything.
You see, life can be like a ticking time bomb. Everything seems fine, until one second, the wick burns out and it all explodes in your hands. Most of us don't understand what it is like to hold on to one of these bombs. We don't understand what it feels like to see that wick be lit on fire. We don't feel the sparks inching closer and closer to our bodies.
Depression and other mental illnesses are cruel and evil diseases and take far too many of our loved ones from our lives much too soon. Something we tend to fail to grasp is the fact that these people are never really 'gone.' They are simply just invisible to our eyes. They will never truly leave us. Yes, they are physically gone from this Earth, but their spirits never leave us.
When these people vanish from our lives, their spirits surround us and become our protectors. Have you ever felt that feeling of someone being right beside you, and you're the only one in the room? Yeah, that's them, sitting right beside you, just like they did before they left. Have you ever met someone so much like the person you are missing, that it seems to be unreal? That's them, reminding you that they are still here. Still with you.
If you ever feel like they are too far gone, just take a minute and think. Think about the time you spent together. Think about the memories that you had with that person. Think about what they meant to you and how they changed you. I promise you, if you do this, it won't feel like they are so far gone anymore. They will surround you in an overwhelming presence and lift you up.
You know when the sun shines through broken clouds how it displays those beautiful rays of light? I like to believe that those rays are our invisible friends. I think that those rays might just possibly be them, shining down from the heavens onto us. It's them showing us the light we thought we lost. They are reminding us that they are still here, lighting up our world.
I can only imagine what these beautiful angles are doing now. Are they pleased with how we are remembering them? Are they dancing and singing, saying 'don't worry about me. I'm free now.' Are they proud of me?
Are you proud of me?
