I’ve never really had a say in the whole, “Happy Holidays” vs. “Merry Christmas” debate because none of the holidays I celebrate are during that time of the year. You see, I’m Baha’i, and we don’t celebrate Christmas, or Chanukah, or Kwanza, or Diwali, or any other autumn or winter holiday.

So, first of all, you must be thinking, “Well, what the hell do you celebrate?”, or, “What’s Baha’i?”, or even, “Don’t you get presents?”, which are all valid questions. But let me first say that I’m not knocking any other holidays, or your right to celebrate them, and equally I’m not meaning to speak ill of any religion, I’m just explaining what it’s like for me to deal during this time of the year. What I’m trying to say is that I have a plethora of holidays to celebrate, one being a time of gift giving and charity called Ayyam-i-ha, oh and it’s pronounced BA-HI, as in “Baha’i, how are ya’?” Sorry, I had to add that.

So, in light of not having anything to say about this time of year, I thought I would do something that most Baha’is know as, 9 Ways You Know You’re Baha’i, in my own way.

1. You know so many Baha’i “jokes” that are really just the best puns anyone could ever ask for.
2. When you hear the word “Feast”, food is the last thing on your mind.
3. You get excited as a Youth when someone says they’re planning a retreat.
4. You call everyone a friend.
5. NSA has a new meaning when you’re watching the news or a spy movie.
6. You’re too darn optimistic when it comes to the state of the world.
7. People ask why there are so many books in your house written in a language that you don’t speak.
8. You quietly freak out at the number 9 or 19.
9. You’re always the designated driver. (Oh look, 9!)

I close by saying, Allah’u’Abha. It’s an Arabic term that Baha’is use to greet, and well wish others meaning “God is the Most Glorious”. I say this to you, not in any religious connotation, or want of conversion, but as I said, a well wish, to you, your family, and friends.