I'm The Furthest Thing From Affectionate, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Not Capable Of Love

I may not be a touchy-feely person, but this doesn't mean that my heart is cold. I may not be a huge hugger, and cuddling is definitely not my favorite thing (unless I'm with my dogs). But I am an incredibly loving person, just not one who likes to be coddled.

For the longest time, I've always wondered what my deal was. Was it normal to refrain from emotional affection? Why do I tense up the second I feel someone else's touch? It wasn't until I learned about the five love languages — and sure enough — physical touch was my absolute lowest priority. This doesn't mean I never want to be touched, but I'm very particular with who my love goes to. I need to be completely and utterly comfortable with someone before my true affection takes its course.

Maybe it's because of circumstances in my past that caused me to close myself off from everyone. But intimate acts became a big deal to me, so I don't like being touched if it isn't on my terms. Deep down I have a strong desire for love and connection, but that side of me will come out when I'm ready.

Just because someone is not affectionate doesn't mean they're a cold person.

Even though I don't immediately want to hug you, I still care. I simply have boundaries and I show my love in other ways.

I love spending time with people, doing fun-filled activities, and getting to know them along the way. My first thoughts are never to go in for a hug or a kiss, and I've become so accustomed to refraining myself from those affections, that it doesn't even cross my mind. Quality time is something I cherish, so for me, those are the little things in life that matter most.

If the lovey side of me comes out for you, it's a big deal for me. I have my special few, and they know who they are. Although I once thought the idea of love was dead, I learned to love the only way I can. I may love and act in a way that isn't as common. But this is who I am — at least for now.