Known for winters spent shoveling snow and a blissfully tame summer, the Northern experience couldn't be any different from the South. From items on the menu to simple syntax, there's a lot to learn about our meridional cousins. Despite having no clear topographic distinction, the differences between the pair are clear as day and sometimes hard to maneuver around. As a recent addition to the Southern population, it only seems fair that I make it my responsibility to provide a guide to all things Southern and how to survive them.
1. Sweet Tea is Love; Sweet Tea is Life
For northerners tea has only ever come in two forms: iced and hot. Iced tea for when it's hot out, and a warm herbal tea to brave the long winters. Right? Wrong. Forget everything you think you know about tea, because the south gives a whole new meaning to the word. Restaurants have it on the menu, fast food joints have it in the drink fountains and if you were born and raised thoroughly, southern odds are you know how to make your own. There's no use in trying to understand sweet tea, it just is. And for any true southerner, it's the drink of choice; anything else just pales in comparison. If you're from the north it may seem that it's nothing special or, God forbid, you don't like it. That kind of information is kept to yourself. Trust me. There's nothing you can do except accept it, respect it, and move on.
2. Can You Say Humidity?
There's nothing worse than spending hours doing your hair, perfecting your makeup, and picking out the perfect outfit only to step outside and realize it was all in vain. Suddenly your hair is either flat or frizzy, you're foundation is melting off and what was once a fabulous outfit is now a sad, damp, sticky version of what it once was. Southerners seem to have adapted, somehow able to maintain the sweating and the frizz down to a minimum. Curse their unaffected sleek hair and pristine sweat free attire. Unfortunately for all northerners, there is no cure. Like most things, time is your best friend. It could take weeks, or months or even years for your northern tendencies to die away. Until then, learn to love your natural hair and face. Wear the least amount of clothing as socially acceptable. Scope out the buildings with AC. May the odds be ever in your favor.
3. "Y'all" Is the Pronoun of Choice
Using the words "you" and "all" together in the same sentence is a foreign concept, a myth if you will. It works as both a singular and plural pronoun – depends on how dedicated to the cause you are. If there's anything you'll learn upon arrival, it's this new addition to the English language. Seriously, it's almost instantaneous. Despite the unfamiliarity of the word, we need to give credit where credit is due. The versatility of the word "y'all" is admirable and impossible to replicate unless you're a native. It can be used in the beginning, middle or end of a sentence, and depending on how far south you live, sometimes all three in the same one. Try as you may or try as you might, you'll never be able to use the word as seamlessly as a true southerner.
4. Bugs. Need I Say More?
From mosquitoes to cockroaches to no-see-ums and cicadas there's no escaping the ever-growing insect population. Finding and treating bug bites is a routine procedure you become acquainted with real quick – it's an initiation of sorts. You'll gain an irrational fear of sweets left lying around and steer clear of spilt lemonade. Where there's sugar, there's ants. Much to a Northerner's dismay, there's no solution to this particular problem except being extra careful with where you step and where you go. Shoes and bathtubs are wonderful hiding places for all creepy-crawlies, and require thorough inspection before use. Nothing ruins your morning like sharing a shower with a roach.
5. Southern Hospitality Is A Thing
Long gone are the days of opening your own doors and placing your order with minimal conversation. It will take a while until you get comfortable with random small talk on the bus, in the grocery store, at the gas pumps, in the hallway and even just a passing comments. Southern hospitality is alive and well, and it will take you by surprise. Northerners tend to get a bad reputation, but it's not our fault we come from a land where keeping your head down is tradition. We live and we learn. Not every friendly smile has a ulterior motive, and holding the door open is just common courtesy and a favor you'll learn to return. It's time to refine our manners, embrace random acts of kindness, and engage in friendly conversation. It's like the warmer the temperature, the warmer the people.
6. Fried Chicken Is a Delicacy
Breakfast? Fried chicken and waffles. Lunch? There's never a Chick-Fil-A, Zaxby's or Popeyes too far from home. Or campus. Or anywhere really. Dinner? You get the point. For every hour of the day, there's fried chicken. The freshmen fifteen that quickly turns into the freshmen thirty for anyone going to college past the invisible line dividing the north and the south. Despite fried chicken being a universally recognized food group, no one does it quite like the south. It's one of those things you didn't even know you missed, and any visit home is full of withdrawal and unsatisfiable cravings.
7. There's Still Nowhere You'd Rather Be
There will be times you'll miss where you came from. When the weather won't drop further than 75 degrees, when you're treating you millionth mosquito bite, when you make the mistake of curling your hair before checking the humidity, or when you're all fried chicken-ed out and just want a taste from home. But at the end of the day, you're grateful for all the little quirks and differences you've learned because it makes the experience that much sweeter. You might never be a full fledged, pure bread southerner. But for the mean time, being an honorary member of the population is just as good.
