Recently I’ve encountered some difficulties, concerning how other people relate to me. This is due to my faith/spirituality, which some people assume is non-existent for me. Along with continuing to figure out definitively what my beliefs are, I’m also grappling with the delicate task of trying to explain my lack of religion, without offending other people. I know that for some of my friends and family, my lack of Christian faith has them feeling confused, concerned for my soul, and uncertain of how to approach me.

Now I don’t know about you, but I prefer not to be told what to think or believe when it comes to my faith, and I’m sure I’m not alone in that statement. By no means do I want religion to be the factor that defines my relationships with friends and family. I don’t want people to feel like they can’t talk to me, just because I don’t have the same beliefs as they do. I don’t want that holy “elephant in the room” to drive a wedge between me and my family and friends. The reason being, because my friendships are not based on religion; they have never been, and they don’t need to be. That’s not why I became friends with the people I’m close to.

It seems to me, though, that people who aren’t Christian (or any other religious denomination), are scrutinized and disrespected where their lack of faith in God is concerned. I understand that for those who are religious, their faith is important to them. I also know they don’t want people disrespecting their beliefs or telling them that their way of thinking is wrong or crazy. So why can’t Christians show that same respect towards people who are non-religious? I thought the phrase was to “love thy neighbor,” not “love only thy Christian neighbors.” That just sounds ridiculous and goes against true Christian teachings concerning love and acceptance of others. Plus, if I know something is a taboo topic for certain people, then I make an effort to leave it alone. I’m not going to discuss Rob Zombie films and Marilyn Manson in front of someone with strong Christian beliefs if I know that’s just not their thing. I respect the fact that there are certain subjects that some people are just uncomfortable talking about. Religion to me is a personal, individual preference of faith, and it should be treated as such, and not forced upon people who don’t share your views.

Yet, people still bring it up around me when there’s no real reason to. I’ve had complete strangers follow me and my husband at Walmart as well as in the parking lot (on two separate occasions), just to try to convince me to go to church. I don’t need to be “saved.” What are these people trying to save me from anyway? Myself? Yeah, well I’ve already done that about a hundred times already. If God exists, then he gave me the strength to fix my own damn problems, and to know who to turn to when I needed help. My husband is always there for me. He’s my emotional support and offers concrete solutions or effective coping mechanisms to help me overcome life’s challenges. That’s more than some supposed invisible, omnipotent entity has ever done for me.

So, there you go. If God made us, gave us brains and the power of free will, then the rest is pretty much up to us—but hey, that’s just my own theory. Yours may differ, and I’m cool with that. I’m cool with other people’s personal beliefs, as long as they keep their beliefs exactly that: personal. I’m not saying don’t pray around me; I’m saying don’t parade around me. If you want to worship your Lord, great, but I’m not your church. Trying to convince me of your beliefs, and impress me with biblical quotes, won’t do much except waste time. Let’s talk about something we both feel strongly about, something we both agree on. I don’t agree with everything that’s written in the Bible. I also know that it’s been translated over and over again, had parts omitted from it (thanks a lot, King James) and has been reinterpreted time and again, so much so that it’s been misinterpreted. Therefore, I cannot trust or believe everything that is written in the Bible, nor do I trust everything various religious officials think. In my opinion, it’d be a sin not to challenge or question certain aspects of the Bible.

I feel that there’s this sense of entitlement among Christians, especially southern conservatives. In their mind, believing in Jesus is just part of family values, good morals and the overall “American Way.” Well, I’m here to tell those people that the “American Way” was established on the basis of religious freedom. That doesn’t mean only religious freedom for Christians, it means being free to believe what you wish, without persecution. Why aren’t I and others like myself showed that same courtesy and respect? It seems to me that the people of Christian faith seem to think that not only is their way the right way, but it should be the only way. Sorry devoted worshipers, that’s not how the world works, and it’s not the law!

Now, I didn’t bring this up to offend people of faith. In fact, I still pray to God and Jesus sometimes, even though I consider myself agnostic. I don’t know what the absolute truth is, I don’t claim to, and so I’m not going to dispute a theory, just because I may not go to church. The thing is, faith and spirituality have always been a deeply personal, private thing for me. If I’m going to experience the Lord’s love and the power of prayer, then I prefer to do so within the confines of my own home. I do not feel the need to go to church and make a show of my beliefs in front of others, just to feel a sense of community for an hour, and then proceed to donate money to a building that is technically a business which should be taxed like any other. (Looking at you, Evangelical Mega-Churches!) At the end of the day, every church is selling their specific “brand” of religion.

Let it be known, though, that I have absolutely no issue with going with others to church; I went to Catholic churches with my grandma and other relatives when I was growing up, as well as attended a protestant church during Basic Training, so going to church isn’t completely foreign to me. If you want to say grace before eating a meal, that’s fine, and I’ll be more than open to praying along with you. I have no issues with sharing in others’ rituals and prayers out of respect for their religion. I just don’t want to receive a bunch of spam about God, Jesus or anything having to do with religion, in the hopes of changing my opinions or beliefs. That’s when I start to feel uncomfortable when people try to persuade me to believe the way they believe. I’m an individual and I’m an American, and at the end of the day, I’m going to believe what I want and have my own ways of exploring faith. I’ve explored different types of faith before. I’ve questioned whether or not God exists if He’s even a man, or possibly a Goddess. I’ve mulled over the concepts of angels and saints. I’ve even considered the possibility that this creator whom modern day Christians refer to as God, is potentially an alien. Yes, I’ve prayed to God and Jesus, but I’ve also explored Pagan beliefs, Wiccan prayers and Buddhist quotes.

There is a multitude of religions in the world, and I’m not about to be so self-righteous as to truly believe there is only one way. Maybe whatever you believe will determine where you go in the afterlife. Who knows? That’s part of the journey, though. I’m on a spiritual journey, walking down a path to know myself better, and find inner strength and wisdom. If people want to think I’m an evil sinner, they can go right ahead. They might be right. I’m not saying they’re not. All I’m saying is that religion is not so important to me to dictate my every move in life. I’m only on this planet for a limited time, and I intend to make the best of it by surrounding myself with people I love and those who love me back, regardless of my beliefs.