A fellow writer of mine is working on a series about times where people felt as if they were not enough or about areas where they struggled in, and how God helped the along the way. So, I agreed to contribute to it!
“The Black skin is not a badge of shame but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness.”
-Marcus Garvey
In the black community, there is an idea that people with darker skin tones are lesser than those with lighter skin tones. It is called colorism. This thought has been around since slavery, and over times it has changed the way blacks see other blacks. It is not recognized as much because people do not realize it. It has been hard growing up. But with God along the way, it has gotten clearer. Here is my story:
During my childhood years, bullying was no issue at all. But, as I got in middle school, I allowed myself to succumb to my insecurities regarding my skin tone. I distinctly remember in 6th-grade in gym class, two boys approached me and spoke about my dark skin. They called me darky and one even said cockroach. Yes, cockroach. And, I did not have a Lupita N'yongo to look up to growing up. But, as I settled into high school, my insecurities got ridiculous to the point where I had to stop and look at the gorgeous girl in the mirror.
During high school, things got sort of worse. There was a friend of mine who was light skin. And, this friend did not like to be in the sun because she did not want to get darker or blacker. She talked about getting darker like it was a disease. It may sound absurd that I was bothered by that. However, I was. I understand that she may not have wanted an uneven skin tone or something. It still hurt even though it was not about me. Soon enough, I refused to take pictures that were not in good lighting, so group photos were out of the question. But, shortly I realized I had to stop.
I do not clearly remember when I finally felt free of insecurity, but what I can say is that it is the best feeling in the world. To set myself free, I made a rule that every time I took a selfie I would do...wait for it...use the first picture. Gasp! I know! And, it took me a couple of tries but, it worked. Slowly my insecurities diminished, and I learned to love my skin and most importantly myself.
As I reflect on my journey, God played a role in it all. As I grew in my faith, I also realized my beauty. I cannot explain it, but that is the fascination of how God works. You do not know how he does it, but, he does. To justify what I said, I learned something from a speaker at my school recently. She said Jesus on the inside is what makes us beautiful on the outside. And, I feel that it was inside me all along.
Nothing about me has changed over the years, I am still the same complexion. Maybe darker, but that is fine with me. The fact is that I love myself. I would not change how I look at the world and that is the best feeling. I do not want to be lighter. I just want to be me. And I am proud to say that I am #NOCOMMONROSE!
Also, swing on over to my friend's blog at http://4get-me-not.blogspot.com/
