“Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious application of personal safety strategies. A woman should be able to walk down the street at 4 in the morning in nothing but her socks, blind drunk, without being assaulted, and I, for one, am not going to do anything to imply that she is in any way responsible for her own assault if she fails to Adequately Protect Herself. Men aren’t helpless dick-driven maniacs who can’t help raping a vulnerable woman. It disrespects EVERYONE.”
― Emily Nagoski
What We Aren't Taught
In America, the Constitution allows us to have freedom of speech. We are allowed to voice our opinions no matter the amount of people who like it or not. We are allowed to say yes, no, I dont know, and maybe. We are allowed to make our own decisions. We are ALLOWED to say NO! At a young age we as girls are taught to say no when something makes us uncomfortable. More often than not though we feel even more uncomfortable saying no. Even in a small situation such as a boy at school touches you and you are too scared to say something. We know that if we say that little two letter word it won't stop anything thats about to happen. Sometimes things happen way before we even get the chance to say anything.
What we aren't taught though is more important. Growing up our parents do not teach us what to do if we are sexually assaulted. They don't teach us what to say to the police when we finally get the courage to tell them what happened. They definitely do not teach us how to live with ourselves everyday after the situation took place. They do not teach us these things because 1 in 5 women fall victim to rape in the U.S, and the chances that you're that one is quite scary to think about.
College is supposed to be a life changing experience. Finally out on your own, doing your own thing, making new friends, and partying. Seems like the life for any new freshman girl. During their freshman year of college 15 percent of women are raped while incapacitated from alcohol or drugs, according to new research. It's hard to imagine a more sobering statistic – one that should strike fear in the hearts of parents and college administrators alike. Also a woman's chance of being raped in college is 1 in 5.
Picture this: You go out with your friends to a frat party they got invited too. All is good, you've had at least 4 drinks and there's more to come. You're dancing all around the house and you notice the guy in the corner thats been staring at you since you've got there. He goes over to you, makes you laugh, slips something in your drink without you knowing. He waits until he sees you becoming more vulnerable, and then takes you to some back alley, does in his mind what he thinks is right and then leaves you. The worst part is he left you and took a big piece of you with him. Your identity.
Imagine waking up and not knowing what happened. Imagine laying in that hospital bed having them tell you that you've been raped and you don't even know by who because you were too messed up too even know what was going on. You couldn't even say no. Imagine what it must feel like to walk around in a body thats not yours anymore. A body that you don't want anymore because you do not know who touched it, whats been inside it, and if it had been contaminated. Thats not your body and no one blames you for not wanting it anymore.
Together I think it could be possible to stop the amount of rape cases that happen each year. Call me crazy but I believe it can happen. Women need to be heard. They shouldn't have to be scared to speak up and tell someone that they've been hurt. We shouldn't be silenced. It should not be okay for someone to tell us its our fault that this happened because we couldn't keep our legs shut.
I personally feel the sad part about a rape case is that the guy can easily go back to his friends and tell them about his latest score. They'll congratulate him, but thats because they don't know that she had no say in it because she was unconscious. She's not just a piece of ass. She's a human being, treat her like one.
I'm in no way taking sides on this issue because I do know it happens to both genders. The issue is we do not hear of many cases where the male is the victim, its few and far between. With women you hear it often. And unfortunately in some cases the male gets away with it (Brock Turner). Knowing the emotional and mental state that must put a woman through is terrifying and I would never want to feel like that. We are allowed to say no, but for some people no just means yes in another form, especially if they're incapacitated no means nothing in their minds. One day No will mean No.