Let me set the scene: you go to see a movie, walk into the theater and pick your perfect seat. Not too close, not too far, and make sure the seat isn't squeaky. You settle in and – perfect! You're ready for an immersive movie experience. This is what I expected when I went to see "Deadpool 2," which happens to be an R-rated movie (remember this, it will be important later). I couldn't wait for the sequel we've all been anticipating, and I was excited to see what shenanigans Ryan Reynolds had gotten into this time.
Instead, someone waltzed in five minutes after the movie started prepared to ruin my evening. She and her young child, I'd guess 6 or 7 years old, sat right by me, and at that moment I already knew I was in for a bad time. Part way through the movie the kid started to get restless and the mom went ahead and gave him her phone so he could play games until the movie was over. There I sat, some kid next to me with a phone screen under his nose, and his mother's head absent of any thoughts that what she was doing may be a nuisance to everyone around her.
Who brings their young children to an R-rated movie? Not only was this a movie for adults, but "Deadpool," a franchise known for being horribly inappropriate. This is not the right environment for a child, and just the thought of a parent being selfish enough to subject their child to that content just to see a movie was enough to disrupt my concentration. The phone game going on next to me was the icing on the cake, diverting my eyes from the screen every time he got an award and the phone flashed white.
I get it, guys, having kids shouldn't mean that you're doomed to never leave your home again or get stuck in an infinite loop of "Peppa Pig." That, however, does not mean that I want to deal with your children in the one place where I expected there to be no children at all. If you want to see movies like "Deadpool 2" and you have children, that's a time to find a babysitter or wait until it's on DVD and the kids are at school. When you have children, it's your responsibility to protect them and not let them run amok in places they shouldn't be. Having children comes with sacrifices, and there are a lot of things you don't get to do anymore as a parent.
Do not bring your children to late night showings of R-rated movies.
Everyone's heart will drop the second you push your stroller in, and if you listen closely you'll hear the round of sighing when your baby starts crying. Children belong in movies made for children. If I pay to see a movie, I expect everyone in the theater to be responsible enough to stay quiet. This has been a public service announcement. Thank you for your cooperation.
