We live in a world that screams social norms at us and makes us feel that we should abide, one, in particular, is that being single is a "bad" thing. It's almost as if the media or environment that we are put in, tells us that if we're single, there is something wrong with us.
Society tries to shame us, and self-deprecate our worth if we haven't found the one by a certain age, making it seem like "falling in love" has some strict deadline.
WRONG.
Let's stop letting society and the media manipulate us and embrace the idea that being single is OK.
In fact, being single can be one of the best times of your life.
Before college, I was in a relationship that ended because we were going off into two different paths of life. Even though I knew going into my freshman year of college single was going to end up being a healthy thing, it didn't make it any easier. It especially wasn't easy when three of your best friends, your roommate, among many others were all in relationships or involved with someone and you saw it right in front of your eyes, All. The. Time. My previous break up was still a fresh wound so it was not easy and honestly, often times lonely.
Now a semester into college and I have found the beauty in singleness. This past semester being single, I realized that it actually was pretty great. In fact, this might seem strange, but I have no shame in my singleness and no intentions in dating till at least the end of my sophomore year. To some that might seem a long time, but to me, it seems like the perfect amount to really just focus on me.
When you're single, you are allowed to be a little more selfish at times and focus on YOU.
Relationships aren't easy and they take a lot of compromise and balance. You have to worry about balancing your significant other with your work, school, friends, and then also make time for yourself. In my opinion, and what I've learned from experience, is that the more confident you are in yourself, the healthier your relationship will be.
If you don't love yourself before you fall in love with someone else, you depend on them for your worth and happiness, which is so unhealthy for both partners. Taking that time to learn about yourself and to fall in love with who you were created to be all needs to happen first — when you are single.
The fun that comes with singleness does not have to be hooking up.
"I just want to be single to have fun." As a college student, I cannot keep track of how many times I have heard this statement. The sad part is that the "having fun" is almost always associated with hooking up, almost as if you're single in college and you're not hooking up with someone, you're doing singleness the wrong way. This idea is so false. Hooking up, in fact, might just end up hurting you more by causing you to catch feelings for someone when you really weren't ready for that burden.
Never feel pressured to participate in the "hook-up culture" of college, it is not a rite of passage. Being single can be fun in so many more different ways. One of my favorite things is that I can have really close guy friends and not worry about a boyfriend being jealous.
Another thing is that it allows me to pursue and get on track with establishing my career. Finally, I can pursue things that bring me joy. Personally, for me, that is focusing on living a healthy lifestyle, being more intentional in my friendships, and focusing on my relationship with God. For everyone, this will differ as we are all so unique in the ways we function and what we pursue for fulfillment.
Just because you are single, does not make you any less of a person, but in fact, can make you a better one if you take advantage of this time for growth.
Never let anyone tell you that your relationship status defines your worth. There is no deadline or rush in "finding the one" or "falling in love." Be single. Be proud.
