I always tell my friends and immediate family that I am not interested in having kids. Right now, this is true. I do not see any children in my future ever. But that doesn’t mean I hate kids. My sister is 10 years younger than me, so I know how rewarding it is to be selfless and put a child before you. Watching her grow up, has been an immeasurable experience, but I don’t think I would want that for myself.
My friend recently told me that she finds it hard to believe that I do not want kids, because I do not go a day without quoting Shrek, The Incredibles or Kung Fu Panda. Although this is true, I feel that I am a child at heart. Being a kid myself, I do not like being an authoritative figure in a child’s life. I do not like barking orders at a child to clean their room or make their bed. It makes me feel like the Wicked Witch of the West when I force kids to clean after themselves.
Two weeks ago, I killed my cactus. Two things wrong with this statement are:
- I killed a plant that only needs water once a week and regular sunlight.
- How am I supposed to take care of a kid if I cannot keep the least demanding plant to take care of alive?
I am an indecisive person. Children are also indecisive creatures. When asking them what they would like for lunch, I appreciate a simple answer. For example “A turkey sandwich” However the conversation usually goes like this “I…uh…I want…I want a…uh…I…what do we have?” It’s an exhausting battle giving a kid an endless amount of food options. Even asking them specifically if they want a turkey sandwich still does not speed up this process. This frustration I have though is from a lack of patience that some magical people are naturally born with. Patience is a skill parents need to acquire in order to not act on the thought of throwing their child up into the ceiling fan.
Generally, I am known as a closed off person. My personal bubble is my best friend. I have never been a hugger until I joined a sorority, and I still don’t hug my sisters that often. The only person I show affection to regularly is my real sister but that’s because she’s my sister. We are already 10 years apart in age I’m not going to push her away more than that. But with other kids, they love to crawl all over me, stick their fingers in my ears, and I swear kids have a secret society where they teach each other how to tie knots in girls’ hair.
Once having one kid, it is expected to have another. Kids learn simple skills such as communication, sharing, and kindness through being socialized with other kids their age. Having a second child in the house is perfect for learning these skills. I don’t want two kids, let alone one.
I don’t want any child of mine to grow up in this twisted world. The media is malicious, and when kids begin to understand the world, I don’t want them to think they or others don’t belong due to their sexuality, disability, race, hobbies, interests, or lifestyle. I know that talking and explaining the world to kids will help them understand, but people still form their own opinions and beliefs. Not that I want to control someone else’s beliefs, but I don’t want them to be influenced by spiteful forces like the media or bullies.
Maybe one day I will change mind, but for now I don’t ever see myself playing dress up, driving the kids to soccer practice, or buying the brand new Star Wars LEGO set; even if that is 20 years in the future.
