From the time we are able to understand what people are saying, we start hearing bad words. Whether that be from our parents, our crazy aunt, or a random stranger in public. Our parents start reminding us from a young age that these are not words we should repeat. Also from a very young age, most of our parents start telling us "no." Growing up in the Midwest, I was taught that telling people "no" is impolite, so I often find myself trying to do 50-million things for everyone else and never doing anything for myself. I would guess that this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially in college. All of our lives are crazy-busy, and sometimes it gets overwhelming-- especially for a people-pleaser like me. I want to help my friends, attend every sorority event, work, and spend time with my family. All of these things are important to me so I try to do them all, but I wind up exhausting myself.

I have learned that I need to start making time for myself, and sometimes that means saying no. Sally wants me to help her plan a party, Suzy needs help with homework, I haven't seen my mom in a few weeks so I should make time for that, Nancy needs help picking out what to wear for her date. And then I also have two papers to write, a test to study for, laundry to do, and fifty things for my sorority. I don't think I am alone in saying that this would be stressful. Lately, my planner is jam packed with at least two things on each day. I actually have to schedule in showers and time to call my family and catch up. I have started to realize though, that I would not have most of these problems if I just said "no." Saying no is not impolite if you do it in the right way. There is an etiquette to it, just like with most other things. Sometimes I feel like if I say no to someone that I will feel left out that they will never ask for my help again. It's okay to say no if you would rather just relax by yourself instead of going out. It's OK to put yourself first. And it is okay to not give a reason for saying no. Do not sacrifice your own needs for the needs of someone else all the time.

Now do not misunderstand, I think that we should still help people when they need it, but we need to realize that no is not a bad word. Occasionally we have to think of taking care of ourselves and doing what is best for us. "No" is one of the first words we were able to understand as children, it is something we probably say at least once per day without realizing we do. So now I want to invite the to remember that saying no is not a bad thing. I promise that it will not make your world fall apart. Go and put yourself first sometimes, you definitely deserve it!