Growing up in a military family, we never settled in a single place. By age six, I was in the process of moving to my fourth state, from Southern California all the way to Florida. I had done it all: moving in the middle of the school year, moving back to a former town across the street from my old house, you name it. To this day I still struggle with the difficult question of, "Where are you from?" Oftentimes, I say Northern Virginia, since it is where I graduated high school and spent the longest stint of my life. Nonetheless, it is still not my home.
In fact, I really don't have a home. I have a great family, and we always had a decent dwelling in one form or another, but I never had a hometown. I've spent many weeks at a time in a TLF (or "Temporary Lodging Facility," a military equivalent of a short-term apartment), and there have been stints of staying with grandparents or other family members while housing was sorted out. I'm even writing this from an extended stay hotel. We're nomads; we're never from anywhere, and we really don't even have a final destination. It's just wherever life takes us.
Surprisingly, this is probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The moving around had its benefits, such as seeing many different subcultures and learning how to make friends regularly, but not having a hometown is actually pretty amazing too. Many people can't grasp this concept, which is understandable since they have never been exposed to it. However, let me tell you, it has had some amazing results:
1. You're Not Tethered.
All too often, I've seen people become effectively "tied" to a city. They might leave, sometimes even for years, but they keep getting reeled back in. It's like a fish on a hook; you can fight it but you're not going to escape. I'm sure that to many people this isn't a bad thing, but personally, I don't think I could do it. I've began to look at my life as many separate chapters, and a chapter often begins and ends with a new place. It's not a full circle; it's an adventure that you never know where it's going to take you.
2. There's No Fall-Back Option.
Graduated college? Quit a job? Major life event occur that cost you most of your money? Many of these happen to a lot of people, and from my experience, they often end up, temporarily or permanently, in or near their hometown. Again, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just a trend I've noticed. I, however, don't have that option. I could go move back in with my parents, but right now even my parents are in a different town than they were even a year ago. I don't have established relationships with people there, so regardless of what I do or where I go, it's effectively somewhere new. The adventure never stops.
3. You Have No Preconceived Biases.
I see it a lot: people I knew from high school or college graduate, then begin their job search in a specific area. Why? Because that's where they're from. Sometimes they have no other way of defending it, such as saying they enjoy the weather or the scenery, and simply say because that's where all of their family is or that's what they know. Personally, I loved being able to go onto job postings and browse the areas I enjoy without preconceived notions. Jumping from Denver to Charlotte to Phoenix to Australia was pretty cool. I got to ask myself all kinds of questions, such as, "What is the weather like?" or "Is there good skydiving/kayaking/climbing/etc?" or "Is it urban enough or is it too rural?" Not once did I ask myself if I knew anyone or had family in that area. If I did, it was an afterthought or bonus.
4. It's Automatically Interesting.
There is some de facto interest in saying, "I'm from all over," or, "This is my eighth state." It adds a bit of mystery, especially since it often conflicts with the social norm. At times it can be solid material to casually bring up on a first date.
5. Settling Doesn't Feel Right.
This isn't the case for all of us; I've met a few people who moved so much their entire life that they just wanted to settle. However, I would say that this is a minority, and many of us fall in love with it. It's not that we won't settle, it's that we become more methodical with it. I often see this in two ways: some people don't want to settle until sometime way down the road (often determined by age or starting a family), and some people don't want to settle until given the opportunity to spend significant time in a very wide variety of places. Personally, I fall into both categories, especially the latter.
As far as cities go, I'm homeless. While to some it may sound frightening, I find it freeing. It's an interesting life and one lifelong adventure, and to me, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
