As an adult woman, I try to keep my friend close, period. I don't have time for enemies or crap that doesn't really matter. I'm 26 years old and I'm a college student preparing to graduate from college, finally! I don't need to waste my energy on "friends" that put me down saying it's just to "humble me."
Here is urban dictionary's definition of a frenemy: "The person that will continue to bring you down until you demand better for yourself."
High school, college, adulthood and the entertainment industry, consists of a lot of relationships with frenemies. For instance, in high school, not everyone was a friend. No, I knew the second the person, my so-called "friend," laughed in my face when I invited her to a birthday party she definitely didn't have my back. Sure, she would laugh at my jokes and pretend we were cool, but I knew there was something wrong with this relationship. At that point in my life I had tons of time to dwell on these things. Yet, I didn't realize that she was going to have one of my other friends "spy" on our conversation, and let him claim I said she had no life. He tried to have me say it, egged me on, so I said something along the lines of, she won't be busy because she's never busy after class. This led to her telling my boyfriend who dumped me. Don't you just love being set up by your best frenemy?
Enter college and my mistakes. I was in a relationship already for a year with my now husband, and we were happy. Yet, my friends thought it was weird we didn't fight a lot, and that I was so sure we were going to last and get married. No, not "friends" plural. Friend, singular. She'd smile at me while making a cutting remark about how high school sweethearts and young relationships don't last, then she'd pretend we were cool and ask me to bake things for her. After that, she always had some sort of remark for me, but then tried to smooth it over. We had a big falling out years ago over a twitter post. Seems stupid right? Well, in the end, I blocked her and moved on with my life... But still, it hurt at the realization that she was not a good friend. But I've moved on, gotten married and am living my happily ever after...
In the entertainment industry I have to say, even if you can earn a better role by being frenemies with a person, doesn't mean that you're going to get that role. They may turn it all around on you and screw you over. Friendships are not a one-way street, there are two people in a friendship, and they both have feelings. No one needs a Negative Nancy in their life who's going to use them.
Dealing with these kinds of toxic relationships take a toll on a person. You end up asking yourself question after question. I'm not saying don't trust anyone, but really when considering who you want in your life, take this into consideration: Does this person accept me for who I am, and will I be a better person knowing them? Trust is not something that should be easily given, it should be earned. Don't make my mistakes... Frenemies are a stupid concept and it's even more stupid to be in a frenemy-ship because in the end, someone is going to lose. Do you really want that person to be you?
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