Ladies, I will not admit it in person, but if I am going to be honest for a split second there are nine things most of us dudes never stopped doing. I know you must be super curious.
1. Playing video games.
We usually try to hide our nerdy obsession with video games you have never heard of, unless you have a boyfriend who neglected you for a couple weeks when the new Call Of Duty game came out. Remember that one time last year when you almost called in a missing persons report when Grand Theft Auto V came out?
Other than those big name titles, the world of video games is a mystery to you girls. We started playing them pre-puberty, and Xbox Live was one of the iconic early social (or anti-social) bonds guys had. We would pull all nighters, spending our biological resources and fading youth to beat games together. When I was 14 years old, I conquered The Covenant -- I bet you have no idea what that is -- with my bros.
Call us brainwashed or nerdy, but we happily still play games. I mean, y'all still watch things like High School Musical and make a Saturday of it.
2. Being completely clueless.
In high school, you probably noticed how clueless we were. You gals dropped hint after hint and we still did not get the memo. You weren't invisible to us and we weren't trying to miss a moment, we just had testosterone-induced technical difficulties with your feelings. Unfortunately, we still suck at having lady radar. College never changed anything, because, I swear, most of us still have no idea whether we are being hit on or sought after. Then, sometimes we think we are when, apparently, we are not. Whoops.
3. Driving like we stole it.
Every time we are behind the wheel, it's like we are in NASCAR. Trust me, we are going to win the imaginary race. You might want to buckle up.
4. The herd instinct.
Most guys have opinions of their own, and I'd say most of us don't have this problem. Unfortunately, there are still enough people who bandwagon on opinions because they just want to fit in.
5. The time-bomb anti-confrontation syndrome.
We are only good at confrontation after we let it all build up inside. Regardless of the situation, whether it's a roommate or a girlfriend, we won't address anything until we have reached the last straw. Picture a masculine balloon right before it pops.
6. Being a sore loser.
I don't care who you are. If you are a dude, and you have lost something, then you know that we have a bone or an organ that makes us a sore loser; we don't like facing defeat. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
7. Exaggerating.
"Bro, there were like 100 people there."
"Dude, I am so drunk right now."
"Yeah, man, we basically hooked up."
"I was the best player on my high school football team."
The scenarios go on and on. We try to make anything twice as epic or twice as dramatic. Period.
8. Being cocky.
It's completely true, but there are two sides to it. Some bros do it as a defensive thing. Others, are more on the offense because they are alpha-male (expletive)-bags. We tend to hang out with the defensive cocky guys, because they are doing it for comedy or some misguided sense of low self-esteem.
9. Finishing everything we started.
Most dudes can start a race, but cannot finish it. This ranges from relationships to academics. Whatever biological inhibition causes this is probably the next theory Stephen Hawking is working on.
