My mother has taught me a lot of important lessons throughout my nineteen years. Pray everyday. Smile often. Don't brush curly hair, always comb. Give without expectation. Never leave the house without at least a little blush. Family over everything.

Yet I think her most prevailing wise words have simply been: be kind.

Be kind when others least expect it. Be kind to those who are good to you. Be kind to those who are not. Be kind to those in need. Be kind to yourself.

She's a funny and loud and busy woman who has not only the stress of her life on her shoulders, but the stress of her daughters, her son, her friends and her job. She carries others problems in any way she can, even if in small ways, to maybe make the burden a little less painful for the other. She holds stress and worry in her heart, almost completely for people other than herself though she never utters a single complaint.

There were moments when I was younger and still at home that she would come home from work grumbling a little over some difficulty during her day. It wouldn't last long though because she would always take a deep breath and visibly make herself move past it. She would just smile and look at me saying, "Mean people suck. Don't be mean and never retaliate to those who are, it's a waste." I don't think she ever said this because she was scared to stand up for herself. I think her whole point was and is, there is simply no point in wasting your time on negative events, people or things.

Whatever her point to it is, I know her words have rubbed off on me. Yes I have my share of dry sarcasm, I can be a bit sassy when you push me far enough and I enjoy a good gossip session every now and then. I do not claim to be the caring and selfless person my mother is. I think I still have a lot to learn. But one thing I do know about myself is that I am a nice person.

I am kind.

I refuse to let myself jump to anger. Even if I am boiling inside. I try my hardest to make sure my friends feel supported. I always let my family know they are loved. I feel that pain of my loved ones and try to lighten their load by helping them in any way I can. I don't like making people feel poorly about themselves or not good enough or incompetent. I have weak moments of course (as all humans do) but I do make it one of my missions to make those around me feel like they have at least one person on their side.

I am nice because I can confidently say that my mother does not care what I end up doing with my life (as long as I am happy and healthy, of course). All she wants for me is to go out into this world, which can sometimes be a little cruel and unforgiving, and be kind. Be nice. Feed a little good into the world, even if in small doses.

So what catches me completely off guard, is when people talk negatively about those who are nice. As if it makes someone weak. It makes them easy to manipulate, take advantage of and just push around. Nice and warm is bad. While it is glamorized to be hard and unforgiving and rude because that somehow makes you stronger.

Now let me take a quick moment to just say, I have met a lot of amazing people who are outspoken and opinionated and don't think twice about one's feelings before just telling it like it is. I admire those people because they don't care about what others think about them. They find fullness in wasting no time trying to be nice when they don't have the patience for it. Which I totally understand! I am just not that way.

I'm just a girl trying to do her mother proud and be nice person. Even if that means biting my tongue when something angry starts to come out. Even if that means doing something for someone else when I know I will get nothing in return. Even if that means actively trying every day to say more kind things even if I don't feel like it.

And that shouldn't make me weak.

If anything it should make me strong. Strong like my mother taught me.

For Denise Marie, my mama.