Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

The cliché that keeps on giving.
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Y'all don't get me wrong, being a nice guy has its perks. You don't feel like a jerk 99% of the time, most people respect you for being that person, and ultimately karma is on your side.

But that's about it.

Nice guys are placed at a social disadvantage before they start trying to find that special someone in their lives. "Oh no, don't say that. Why wouldn't someone want a nice guy?" I say this in my experience of keenly observing the opposite sex at the age I'm at — rarely does someone want what is best for them, because it's not shiny on the surface.

He doesn't get a spotlight on being intelligent, being funny, respectful, or anything else. He's just a nice guy.

You know what nice guys do? They are some of the only people in the world that don't find it necessary to tear people down in order to build themselves up. They will tell you everything you want to hear that's the truth, but be brutally honest with you for your own good.

Nice guys make the world seem like a better place than it actually is because they care THAT much about how you feel about yourself. So, what's the problem?

See, with a nice guy, you're a person people know they can come back to no matter what they do or say. Herein lies the problem — people use nice guys to make themselves feel better. To build their confidence. To find their sense of identity. And like a wad of paper towels, we nice guys soak up all the dirt out of people's lives and get disposed of once the mess is gone.

Disclaimer — there are exceptions to this idea. Not all nice guys are treated like this, but in my years of dating as a young person, this kind of mistreatment is certainly commonplace.

We get led on by people that we are nice to so they can receive full attention from us. Then, when they recover from whatever it is they are going through, they move on to the next asshole who will break their heart but provide brief moments of joy and excitement.

Assholes do one thing for women — they challenge them. They ignore them, treat them like garbage, make them feel insecure, and ultimately disrespect them. But we nice guys get it, because assholes excite women and make them try extra hard. What's the difference between us and the assholes though? We bring out the best in women by building them up, not breaking them down.

Nice guys aren't boring, and we have a personality, believe it or not. Most importantly, there's nothing wrong with having someone treat you the right way. One day, we will find someone who values themselves as much as we value them as people, and it truly will be a beautiful thing.

Until then, we nice guys will finish last, but that's OK.

Cover Image Credit: Austin Goodwin

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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