Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

The cliché that keeps on giving.
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Y'all don't get me wrong, being a nice guy has its perks. You don't feel like a jerk 99% of the time, most people respect you for being that person, and ultimately karma is on your side.

But that's about it.

Nice guys are placed at a social disadvantage before they start trying to find that special someone in their lives. "Oh no, don't say that. Why wouldn't someone want a nice guy?" I say this in my experience of keenly observing the opposite sex at the age I'm at — rarely does someone want what is best for them, because it's not shiny on the surface.

He doesn't get a spotlight on being intelligent, being funny, respectful, or anything else. He's just a nice guy.

You know what nice guys do? They are some of the only people in the world that don't find it necessary to tear people down in order to build themselves up. They will tell you everything you want to hear that's the truth, but be brutally honest with you for your own good.

Nice guys make the world seem like a better place than it actually is because they care THAT much about how you feel about yourself. So, what's the problem?

See, with a nice guy, you're a person people know they can come back to no matter what they do or say. Herein lies the problem — people use nice guys to make themselves feel better. To build their confidence. To find their sense of identity. And like a wad of paper towels, we nice guys soak up all the dirt out of people's lives and get disposed of once the mess is gone.

Disclaimer — there are exceptions to this idea. Not all nice guys are treated like this, but in my years of dating as a young person, this kind of mistreatment is certainly commonplace.

We get led on by people that we are nice to so they can receive full attention from us. Then, when they recover from whatever it is they are going through, they move on to the next asshole who will break their heart but provide brief moments of joy and excitement.

Assholes do one thing for women — they challenge them. They ignore them, treat them like garbage, make them feel insecure, and ultimately disrespect them. But we nice guys get it, because assholes excite women and make them try extra hard. What's the difference between us and the assholes though? We bring out the best in women by building them up, not breaking them down.

Nice guys aren't boring, and we have a personality, believe it or not. Most importantly, there's nothing wrong with having someone treat you the right way. One day, we will find someone who values themselves as much as we value them as people, and it truly will be a beautiful thing.

Until then, we nice guys will finish last, but that's OK.

Cover Image Credit: Austin Goodwin

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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