Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

Nice Guys Never Stand A Chance, But That's OK

The cliché that keeps on giving.
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Y'all don't get me wrong, being a nice guy has its perks. You don't feel like a jerk 99% of the time, most people respect you for being that person, and ultimately karma is on your side.

But that's about it.

Nice guys are placed at a social disadvantage before they start trying to find that special someone in their lives. "Oh no, don't say that. Why wouldn't someone want a nice guy?" I say this in my experience of keenly observing the opposite sex at the age I'm at — rarely does someone want what is best for them, because it's not shiny on the surface.

He doesn't get a spotlight on being intelligent, being funny, respectful, or anything else. He's just a nice guy.

You know what nice guys do? They are some of the only people in the world that don't find it necessary to tear people down in order to build themselves up. They will tell you everything you want to hear that's the truth, but be brutally honest with you for your own good.

Nice guys make the world seem like a better place than it actually is because they care THAT much about how you feel about yourself. So, what's the problem?

See, with a nice guy, you're a person people know they can come back to no matter what they do or say. Herein lies the problem — people use nice guys to make themselves feel better. To build their confidence. To find their sense of identity. And like a wad of paper towels, we nice guys soak up all the dirt out of people's lives and get disposed of once the mess is gone.

Disclaimer — there are exceptions to this idea. Not all nice guys are treated like this, but in my years of dating as a young person, this kind of mistreatment is certainly commonplace.

We get led on by people that we are nice to so they can receive full attention from us. Then, when they recover from whatever it is they are going through, they move on to the next asshole who will break their heart but provide brief moments of joy and excitement.

Assholes do one thing for women — they challenge them. They ignore them, treat them like garbage, make them feel insecure, and ultimately disrespect them. But we nice guys get it, because assholes excite women and make them try extra hard. What's the difference between us and the assholes though? We bring out the best in women by building them up, not breaking them down.

Nice guys aren't boring, and we have a personality, believe it or not. Most importantly, there's nothing wrong with having someone treat you the right way. One day, we will find someone who values themselves as much as we value them as people, and it truly will be a beautiful thing.

Until then, we nice guys will finish last, but that's OK.

Cover Image Credit: Austin Goodwin

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5 Powerful Rihanna Songs That Prove Relationships Ain't Easy

"I still love you, but I just can't do this."

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Relationships aren't perfect. They can be painful and aggravating. They can be problematic and detrimental to our mental health.

Of course, relationships require a great deal of time and commitment to maintain, but if you're not with the love of your life, is it even worth it?

Here are five beautifully powerful Rihanna songs that prove relationships are harder than they look.

1. "Take A Bow"

"Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not // Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught"

2. "Stupid In Love"

"I still love you, but I just can't do this"

3. "Rehab"

"I never gave myself to another the way I gave it to you // You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? // It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back // And you're the one to blame"

4. "Te Amo"

"I understand that we all need love and I'm not afraid // I feel the love but I don't feel that way"

5. "Stay"

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving // 'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"

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Ariana Grande Wrote A Song About Her Exes And I Can't Even Get Asked On A Date

Thank u, next.

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2018 is not my year. Actually, I don't think any year has ever been "my year". But specifically, this year has really shown me how absolutely and forever alone I am going to be.

Everyone is graduating, getting engaged, getting married, having kids, and overall living their best lives. Meanwhile I'm still struggling to get up before noon or talk to a boy.

To be fair, I haven't really been one to seek out relationships in the past. I get awkward and distant as soon as someone so much as glances in my direction. I never had a boyfriend in high school (or ever), so I've never had much practice when it comes to being in a relationship.

But I thought that would change in college.

Ok, so I wasn't expecting to be asked out on dates left and right or have boys follow me around, but I thought at the least I could get out of my small town where everybody knew everybody and experience life for my own. I saw dating as synonymous with college, I mean, it was where everyone found their future partners right?

Sadly, I was mistaken. Sure, a few boys asked me out and I went on a few dates, but nothing ever seemed to go according to plan.

I got busy. And scared. And a million other excuses to not go on dates. I said no. I stopped caring. I would drag on the relationship until they eventually got bored or frustrated with me. It was not pretty, and I eventually just got comfortable with that routine.

We would talk, I would get scared or bored, and then we'd have the inevitable fallout. And for most of my college career, I was completely okay with this system. I focused on school and myself and I was okay with that.

But going into my last semester of college, I feel like I missed out on something, like I'm behind. All my friends are going into new stages in their lives, while I'm stuck here trying to figure out what's next. Of course I'm happy for my friends who know what job they want or for those that have gotten married, but it sucks to feel like I don't have a direction.

I know a boy isn't going to change that. I'm not going to suddenly go on a date and find my purpose or my husband. I know this. But sometimes a girl just wants to get coffee or see a movie and feel special.

I know I'm possibly the worst person to be in a relationship with. I suck at communicating, I get caught up in my head, I really don't like being social, and I probably shower less than the average human. I'm picky. But I'm not going to waste my time on dating boys who I can't see a future with.

I want to date with purpose and conviction. I want to fall in love and have it be meaningful. I want to date and get married and have kids, but not if it's with someone that's not in it for the long run or able to bring out the best parts of me.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned or just delusional, but I think Ariana was on to something when she said, "thank u, next". I'm willing to wait until it's with the right person. It doesn't take almost getting engaged to tell me that.

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