Almost every time I log into my social media, I come face-to-face with a mentality that needs to be talked about: nice guys. We've all dealt with them before — bitter men, upset that they've been turned down by a girl, usually with an accompanying comment along the lines of "but, I'm a nice guy!" However, none of those self proclaimed "nice guys" are ready to face the facts: They aren't nice at all.
An issue with the "nice guy" mentality stems from the fact they are blaming women for their relationship woes; if they've been dumped by every girl they've dated or had a girl not take an interest in them, it's not their fault. Even if someone has had an endless string of failed relationships, the common denominator is them.
If a girl dumps you, it definitely isn't because you're "too nice." If a girl doesn't like you, even though you held the door for her, or complimented her eyes, she didn't turn you down because you're nice. The fact that most "nice guys" need to understand is that women are allowed to have preferences. This "nice guy" may have a terrible personality, be unattractive, childish, or disrespectful — but if they buy dinner for a girl on a date, he feels that he is entitled to a woman's time.
The next issue: entitlement. Read: the "friend zone." The friend zone definitely does not exist, no matter how much you want to believe that it does. These "nice guys" believe that if they act like decent people to these women, they deserve to be rewarded with sex. Instead of valuing the woman's time, the "nice guy" proves that he does not view her as a friend. Instead, he merely views her as a sexual object that he deserves. If she does not feel comfortable with him, and rejects his sexual expectations, she is demonized, called names and shamed. All the while, the "nice guy" preaches from the rooftops that he can't believe this chick put him in the friend zone, even though he was so nice.
In this text conversation, a man illustrates the "nice guy" mentality expertly. He acts normal, up until the woman rejects him. The woman is polite, apologizes for potentially misleading him, and compliments their time together, and yet the man flips out on her. He begs her for a reason and then attacks her body, and claims to not care about her at all. His actions are commonplace among "nice guys" and show that the mentality is unhealthy, destructive and not nice at all.
Here's some advice for all of the "nice guys" out there. Instead of approaching women with only sexual intentions, approach them with genuine interest and kindness. Don't expect anything in return. Don't be polite just for your own selfish ulterior motives. Treat women with respect, even if she isn't romantically or sexually interested in you. Try to understand that women are people too, with preferences and complicated lives. If you genuinely befriend a woman, she is five times more likely to want to have a relationship with you.
News flash: women aren't vending machines. You cannot put nice coins in and expect sex to fall out.
