This has been on my mind lately and I just need to get it off my chest.

I honestly don’t know how to take comments on my body or weight.

For some reason when a woman gets pregnant everyone thinks it’s okay to comment on her body. No one would have done that to me before…or at least not to my face. But suddenly, everyone thinks that I’ll just adjust to people looking me up and down and determining whether or not my size is normal by their standards or experience. They also think it’s a good time to ask how much weight I’ve gained. As if this isn’t hard enough on women in general thanks to modern beauty standards, a woman with body issues may ponder over these comments constantly. I’m always asking myself if I’m gaining enough or too much weight and if I look really big or too small. It’s really hard to shut these thoughts off and it only makes it worse that people add their opinion too.

Some days I love my belly and some days I don’t.

It’s more common than you think for someone to get pregnant, excitedly awaiting the arrival of her beautiful bump, just to end up not really liking how it looks. That’s how it is for me sometimes but, thankfully, not always. There may be precious cargo inside but that didn’t stop me from realizing just how big I’m getting. There is simply nothing that can prepare someone with body issues for that kind of change. This is especially true in the later months of pregnancy when it just feels like you couldn’t possibly get any bigger but inevitably will. Some days I’m madly in love with my belly and some days I don’t want to even look at it.

Watching the scale go up is still hard to see.

No one wants to gain weight. Yes, this is a healthy weight gain but it happens so quickly that it can be really hard to adjust to. I didn’t gain any weight in the first trimester and then suddenly the scale wouldn’t stop moving up. It’s still going up and I still have 2 ½ months left. Despite working out and eating relatively well, I’m gaining more than the recommended weight gain for my BMI. Everyone is different and I know that, but I’ve had specific numbers ingrained in my brain ever since I googled it when I was only 8 weeks along. I was determined to stick to that weight range. Surpassing it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not. I have a healthy baby and an average sized bump but it still is really hard not to put pressure on myself when it comes to weight gain. It’s just what I’ve always done and it feels like there's even more pressure now.

Growing out of clothes can be emotionally draining.

I didn’t cry when I couldn’t fit into my tiny size 4-6 pants anymore. But when I started outgrowing all of my yoga pants, night pants, and even a pair of small maternity jeans? I cried. I ugly cried. My husband told me I was beautiful and everyone else told me it’s just what happens. But that didn’t make it any easier to accept. Now that I’m in the third trimester and my long, flowy tops are now becoming too small, I’m finding myself trying really hard not to let it get to me. Easier said than done.

Not knowing how to completely accept my body, during pregnancy or postpartum, does not take away my ability to be a great mother or to love my child. Food for thought: I would like everyone to consider the feelings of the mother a little more. Everyone is always concerned for the child and that’s great, but don’t forget that the mom has feelings too. This is a huge change for her and it would be nice if people kept unnecessary comments and questions to themselves, unless the woman brings it up first. Pregnancy is no excuse to start being rude. Commenting on someone’s body has always been rude and you never know how it might affect a soon-to-be mother emotionally. Someone with body issues won’t suddenly know how to accept her body just because it doesn’t only belong to her anymore. Please keep that in mind.

All of that being said, for me at least, allowing this child to change my physical state has made me feel incredibly powerful. I may not love what I look like all of the time, but I’m still grateful it’s happening. I will forget about the moments when I cried because I didn’t like the fat on my hips, or when someone told me I must be due earlier than I am or will have a huge baby. But I will remember the positive pregnancy test, every kick and punch, the ultrasounds, and, ultimately, I will remember the first time my baby and I meet. I just hope that after this child is born, I can look in the mirror with confidence because this body will have created, grew, and birthed a little human being. And I couldn’t be more thankful for this experience.