11 New Year's Resolutions All House Cats Are Making This Year

11 New Year's Resolutions All House Cats Are Making This Year

I WILL make sure my human's clothes are covered in my fur.
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As a cat lady in training, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of New Year’s Resolutions my cats were making this year. So, I asked one of my cats what her resolutions were and picked my 11 favorites to share.

1. I will pounce on my human to make sure they are alive in the morning.

Some may think that I care, but it's just so that my human will feed me.

2. I will beg for my human's food, even after they have given me my own food.

I probably won't even eat it.

3. I will bring "gifts" to my human.

Maybe this year my human will appreciate dead mice and birds as gifts.

4. I will play dead on the stairs, especially when my human is trying to bring in groceries or laundry.

It really trips them up.

5. I will teach my human how to type properly.

Diz iz howz u typez proper.

6. I will nap on any and every surface that I find.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

7. I will torture the dog every single day.

I need a guaranteed reason to laugh every day.

8. I will set the record for the most naps a cat has ever taken.

Following your dreams is important.

9. I will learn to fly.

Birds will be easier to catch if I can fly.

10. I will make sure my human's clothes are covered in my fur.

Especially their black clothes.

11. I will be the purr-fect cat.

If nothing else, I will be better than everyone else.

Cover Image Credit: JaelAnn Hoover

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30 Bee Puns To Get You Through The Day

These puns are as sweet as honey.
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There are few things in life that make me happier (and/or make me want to bury my face in my hands and groan loudly) than a well timed pun. This goes double if the pun involves some my favorite insects — bees. There's nothing quite as satisfying as uttering a bee pun when no one expects it, so here is a list of the top 30 bee puns around!

Use these puns to make your grandparents laugh, impress your date, spice up your Tinder profile, make friends with a beekeeper, break the ice at your new job or make everyone in the general vicinity wish they hadn't invited you to come hang out with them. You won't bee-lieve how many of these puns you'll be pollen for! You'll bee-come an instant hit at parties! You'll bee sure to thank me later.

1. "When a bee is in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

2. "Bee puns really sting.

3. "Who's a bee's favorite singer? Bee-yoncé."

4. "What's a happy bumblebee's blood type? Bee positive!"


5. "Bee puns aren't that great. I don't get what all the buzz is about."

6. "Wasp are you talking about?"


7. "Naughty bee children really need to beehive."

8. "What kind of bees drop things? Fumble bees!"

9. "A bee's favorite haircut is a buzz cut!"

10. "What do you call a bee that's a sore loser? A cry bay-bee!"


11. "What's a bee's favorite flower? Bee-gonias!"

12. "Why do bees get married? Because they found their honey!"


13. "That bee is talking too quietly, it must be a mumble-bee!"

14. "Bee children take the school buzz to get to school."

15. "A bee's favorite sport is rug-bee."

16. "The bees went on strike because they wanted more honey and less working flowers."


17. "On the first day of class, bee students are given a sylla-buzz."

18. "What did one bee say to the other when they landed on the same flower? Buzz off."

19. "Who's a bee's favorite painter? Pablo Bee-casso!"

20. "A bee styles their hair with a honeycomb."

21. "When a bee writes a sonnet, they're waxing poetic."

22. "The worker bee decided to take a vacation to Stingapore last year."

23. "A bee that's been put under a spell has been bee-witched!"

24. "Say, these bee puns aren't too shab-bee."

25. "That pretentious wasp is just plain snob-bee!"

26. "Why did the bee want to use the phone? To say hi to their honey."

27. "A bee's favorite novel is the Great Gats-bee."


28. "What's a bee's favorite Spice Girls song? Wanna-bee!"

29. "What do bees like with their sushi? Wasa-bee!"

30. "Remember, bee puns are good for your health, they give you a dose of Vitamin Bee!"

Cover Image Credit: Fanaru

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My Life Would Suck Without Dogs

THEY'RE PERFECT

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I don't want to be super basic (I mean moreso than I already am), but I just want to comment on the existence of dogs. I'm not a cat person by any means because I'm just as temperamental as they are.

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I also don't trust anything about them because you never know what they're capable of.

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I don't agree with the existence of cats, but dogs are a completely different story.

I used to hate dogs. And I mean HATE them. And it was 99% because I was terrified of them. My grandmother always had pit bulls as I was growing up, and I stupidly believed the stigma around pit bulls and didn't trust them. Plus, my cousins use to make the dogs chase me for their own amusement and that was terrifying in itself.

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But, I was forced to live with a guide dog in training my third year in college and that changed EVERYTHING.

I went from being terrified to keep my room door open so the dog wouldn't come in there to being in tears any time I even see a dog.

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It was a huge 180. Dogs are great animals and they don't always understand how appreciated they are.

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And I'm glad I'm on the bandwagon now.

I saw a dog the other day and couldn't stop thinking about it for the entire day. And a friend of mine decided to get a dog a couple of days ago and now she won't stop talking about. And I fully support that!

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Isn't life just better because there are dogs in it? If you know you get to see one at the end of the day, doesn't that just make your day so much better?

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If more places allowed dogs other than service dogs into buildings, we'd have happier people in the world. Don't believe me?

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Test that theory!

Pluto is allowed everywhere in Disney and there are happy people in Disney, right?

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Game, set, match.

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