Living With Anxiety Makes Making New Year's Resolutions Difficult

Living With Anxiety Makes Making New Year's Resolutions Difficult

If I start falling short or sliding back, it'll mean ruin for my mental state.

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The new year is coming up, faster than I thought possible. It feels like I'm constantly seeing things on social media about other people's New Year's resolutions, things you can try to work on, etc.

And it's overwhelming because I can't do those resolutions.

I've lived most of my life with an anxiety disorder. While it's certainly under much better control than it used to be (thank you medication and therapy), my anxiety is not completely gone from my life.

I was never someone who felt the need to make New Year's resolutions. For many years, it was simply because I was just trudging through each day. It was enough for me that I did that, and to try and think of something I could spend a whole year working on was wildly ambitious. I just didn't feel all that dedicated to making half-hearted promises to myself that I knew would be forgotten and ignored quickly--as most resolutions are.

But more importantly, my anxiety will go into hyperdrive if I try to make a resolution of any kind.

Let's be real: resolutions aren't really promises to do better at something or whatever. They're goals, simple as that. They're something you want to look back on come the next New Year's Eve and say "This year, I accomplished XYZ."

I've learned the hard way that I can't do "goals." I can do to-do lists, small things, in a step-by-step manner. But I can't do long-term plans.

I can't do long-term plans because if I don't get to X point by Y time, as I expected to when thinking up the plan, I spiral.

It's happened before. I expected that by junior year of college, I'd be living with my boyfriend after temporarily moving back home and I'd be on track to graduate because I'd be doing well in the only major I had ever expected to be in. Then life turned on me and here I am, a senior in college with a new major and still living at home. That's not to say either of those things are bad--in fact, I love my new major (and am waaay better at it than my old one) and living at home has been good for me. It's helped me get my feet under me a bit again.

But it wasn't where I had thought I would end up.

I'm a senior in college who is going to graduate late, still lives at home, and is stuck in yet another part-time job that makes her crazy and doesn't give me nearly enough income to move back out. And every so often, I feel depressed and upset over the fact that I'm not where I had planned to be by this time.

Where I thought I would be at this time.

Setting goals for myself just leads to a negative mental outcome.

If I don't seem to be making progress in achieving a goal, I will feel like I am failing at whatever it is I am trying to attain for myself.

If I don't reach that goal, I'll beat myself up for it. I end up in a spiral of negativity that ultimately makes me wish I had never thought of where I could be by X time.

Part of it is also what these resolutions focus on.

Most resolutions are things related to building your confidence or learning to love yourself. It's really, really hard to make promises to yourself like those when you're low in both areas, like me.

There's no guarantee that actively working on in the span of a year will make any difference because working on yourself like that doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of time, energy, and effort, and a lot of help.

I don't want to set goals like that for myself and constantly worry about achieving them instead of living in the moment. Instead of just living for myself now, which is something I'm already trying to work on doing.

You never know what the year is going to throw at you, or what obstacles you'll have to overcome.

When it comes to my anxiety, obstacles often lead to mental setbacks. It's inevitable for me, and I have had to learn to accept that I won't always move forward. That it's okay to sometimes slide back, because you learn from these experiences and how to grow from them. How to come back from them, even if it's just to a general state of equilibrium rather than a more positive state.

So no, I won't be making any resolutions this year.

Just a promise to myself to take life one day at a time and not get ahead of myself when opportunities arise. Just because something good happens, doesn't mean it's guaranteed to lead to another good moment.

Sure, that sounds pessimistic. But I view it as being realistic, so that when something less-than-good happens, I won't be brought as low by the outcomes. It's self-preservation, in a way.

It's a reminder to not get ahead of myself, something I'm learning to do the hard way.

So here's to taking on the new year, one day at a time.

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19 YouTubers You Need To Watch, Favorite And Subscribe To In 2019

Because who really watches TV anymore?

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YouTube is great for someone who doesn't have the time or desire to watch movies or full-length episodes of shows, but it can be hard to find a YouTuber you like.

Here are 19 YouTubers everyone should be watching in 2019!

1. MissRemiAshten

Remi Cruz

Remi Cruz may be the most fun-loving and positive twenty-something on the internet and if you're not watching her already you need to stop reading this article and watch one of her videos right now! Remi posts lifestyle and fitness related videos multiple times a week on her main channel MissRemiAshten and her vlog channel RemLife. Remi is a glass-half-full kind of gal and watching her will help you look on the bright side too!

2. AlishaMarie

Alisha Marie

Alisha is another ray of sunshine, who posts anything from DIY, room decor, lifestyle and collabs with her YouTube besties! One of those besties just so happens to be Remi Cruz, and together they host a podcast called Pretty Basic, where they share stories and talk about their experiences in hopes that they can help their listeners going through similar things.

3. James Charles

James Charles

James Charles quickly became the makeup Queen of YouTube! This sister posts the most stunning makeup looks ranging from everyday wear to total glam, perfect for special events. James collaborated with Morphe Cosmetics to create his very own pallet that inspires everyone to unleash their inner artist. The James Charles Pallet launched November 2, 2018, and has basically been out of stock since then, it's so popular.

4. KathleenLights

Kathleen Lights

Kathleen Lights is one of the most honest, yet funny, beauty gurus on the internet. She's a firey Miami native who loves a good glam look! Kathleen collaborates with Colourpop regularly to create her own products. She is obsessed with all things astrology and incorporates Zodiac signs in many of her makeup products, one pallet is even titled "The Zodiac."

5. Safiya Nygaard

Safiya Nygaard

You may recognize Safiya from her days at Buzzfeed when she starred in the popular series "Ladylike," but since leaving Buzzfeed in March of 2017, Safiya has accumulated 6.8 million subscribers of her own on her YouTube channel. Safiya is most known for testing new products, following hacks and reporting back to her subscribers with the honest results.

6. Meghan Rienks

Meghan Rienks

Meghan is like that brutally honest friend that some people think is mean, but really they just haven't gotten a chance to get to know her. She's a busy lady as she's a working actress in L.A., has her own apparel and accessories online store called "Martie" and hosts her own advice podcast called "Don't Blame Me." After watching Meghan you'll wish she was your best friend.

7. Gabbie Hanna

Gabbie Hanna

Formally known as "thegabbieshow," Gabbie Hanna got her start on Vine years ago and fans followed her when she made she made the jump to YouTube. Gabbie is mostly known for her outrageous storytimes and near-death experiences, but she is also an amazing singer and has released half a dozen singles in the past two years.

8. Nikki Glamour

Nikki Glamour

She's your best friend, big sister and favorite cousin all wrapped into one! She gets so into the stories she tells it's like you are right next to her when they were happening. Nikki keeps it real and always has, she's hard working and lives her life to the fullest. Her family is growing so be sure to check out her family channel GlamourFamily to grow with her.

9. Sarah Baska

Sarah Baska

Sarah Baska is the funniest person on the internet! She's not afraid to make fun of herself, and others but she means no harm. She's the happy hippie we all need in our lives to remind us not to take life so seriously.

10. Kendall Rae

Kendall Rae

Kendall's channel is great if you want to think! Her channel is full of interesting topics like true crime, unsolved mysteries, space and ocean exploration, world travel, astrology and a little paranormal activity. If you're open-minded and want some thought-provoking content in your life, Kendall channel is the best for you!

11.  Mr. Kate

Mr. Kate

Think of Mr. Kate's channel as Extreme Home Makeover-YouTube Edition, follow her as she transforms your favorite social media influencer's spaces into gorgeous works of art. If you're an avid HGTV watcher, you'll love Mr. Kate.

12. Sierra Schultzzie 

Sierra Schultzzie

Sierra is a body-positive confidence building queen who stands by the notion that every body is beautiful. Her channel is full of look-books, Disney, DIY and lifestyle-related videos. She also has her own online clothing line called "The Curvy Crew."

13. Josh Peck

Josh Peck

It's like "Drake & Josh," but better. Josh Peck is all glown-up and even funnier than he was on the Nickelodeon show that we all know and love. Josh is also BFFs with YouTuber David Dobrik and he can be seen in many of Josh's videos.

14. Lily Marston

Lily Marston

Lily is not your average L.A. influencer, she's down to earth and lives off In-N-Out and Dr Pepper. Lily used to be a producer and host on "Clever Style" but decided to go her own way, shortly before Clever shut down. Lily posts lifestyle and beauty related videos, even though she definitely doesn't claim to be a beauty guru. She's hilarious, sarcastic and a little pessimistic, but an all-around good time.

15. Simply Nailogical 

Cristine

Cristine is the crazy nail lady on YouTube, but if you're even a little into nails you'll love her channel! She's hilarious and has so much knowledge to give on taking care of your nails. She posts seasonal nail tutorials and fun videos like Polish Mountain where she paints her nails with over 100 different coats!

16. Natalia Taylor 

Natalia Taylor

Natalia is a storytime YouTuber who has some of the craziest stories. Her stories range from paranormal activity to almost being on "America's Next Top Model" and faking her own death, Natalia will always expose herself before anyone else can.

17. Lindsey Hughes

Lindsey Hughes

Lindsey makes lifestyle vlogs and videos her travels, music festival experiences and beauty and fashion favorites. Lindsey has grown up on YouTube, first joining the platform in 2010, and though she's grown and changed she's always been real with her audience.

18. Bella Fiori

Isabella Fiori

Bella is an Australian YouTuber who posts anything from beauty videos to unsolved mysteries and vlogs of her daily life. She's cruelty-free and passionate about leaving the world a better place than when she found it.

19. Shane Dawson

Shane Dawson

Last but certainly not least, the King of Youtube, Shane Dawson! Shane has 19 million subscribers and has been active on his channel since he joined in 2005. His content has evolved with him over the years but he is best known for his conspiracy theories and mini-documentaries investigating other well-known YouTubers. As long as YouTube is around, Shane Dawson isn't going anywhere!

I hope this article helps you find your new favorite YouTuber!

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12 Simple Ways To Ease Your Anxiety

These are some super simple ways to handle your stress at home.

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Anxiety and stress are very common problems for many of us in today's society.

Over 70% of adults face some sort of anxiety or stress in their lives.

It can really be overwhelming and can seriously affect our mood for the rest of the day.

Pushing these feelings of anxiety and stress aside and letting them build up does nothing but cause more harm to our minds and bodies.

Sometimes, we just need a quick and easy way to help alleviate some of this stress to help us get through the day and to help us feel better.

Here are 12 ways to do just that:

1. Practice deep breathing

Mental stress and anxiety can cause your body to respond in physical ways. Since it affects your sympathetic nervous system, you might experience elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, or lightheadedness. Breathing deeply and slowly can help slow your heart and ease your body back into a calm state. When I panic or feel overwhelmed, I breathe in slowly through my nose, think of one thing that makes me happy, slowly breathe out through my mouth, and repeat until I can feel my mind and body begin to calm.

2. Light a candle or start up your essential oil diffuser

My personal favorite scent to soothe my anxiety is lavender. However, you can also try chamomile, rose, orange, jasmine, sandalwood, or whatever else might help you.

3. Exercise

This is a big one, but can also be a very difficult one. Whenever you're feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed, it might be hard enough for you to get yourself out of bed, let alone do any serious exercising. My best advice is to be proactive and try to pay attention to when you first start feeling your anxiety creep up on you. Just go ahead and get up and go for a walk, run, or whatever form of exercise you prefer!

4. Read a book

For me, there's nothing like curling up with a good book to help calm my nerves. Whenever I am knowingly going into a situation that will make me anxious, such as traveling, I always make sure to bring a book to read whenever I start to feel overwhelmed. Reading helps me to temporarily escape my anxieties and can be a big help in giving myself some much needed time to calm down.

5. Do yoga and practice meditation

Yoga is such a helpful activity for those with anxiety and stress! It kind of is just a combination of many different anxiety-relieving techniques (exercise, deep breathing, and mindfulness). There are many different apps, books, classes, and websites you can use as a guide and help to do yoga. You can find what positions, locations, and situation are best for you. Doing yoga gives you a great opportunity to think about and reflect on your feelings and worries.

6. Spend time with loved ones (yes, even your furbabies)

Sometimes, all we need is a little love and reassurance in our lives to alleviate some of our anxieties. Spending time with your family, friends, and pets can help us to see and remember the good things we have in our lives. So many times, those of us with anxiety tend to seclude ourselves and that makes it easy to forget the good we have.

7. Drink more water

Caffeine is a stimulant and can cause feelings of anxiety. It can make you feel jittery and can be a cause for elevated heart rate. Drinking more water not only helps you physically (like hydrating your skin and body), but it can also do wonders for your mental health. When your body is unhealthy and unhappy, that can be a big factor in feelings of depression and anxiety.

8. Take a short nap

If you begin to feel overwhelmed or anxious, sometimes it can do some good to just take a short 30-minute nap. Just give yourself some time to rest your mind and body and face the issue with a new focus and fresh thoughts.

9. Journal

Even though writing down your feelings, bad or good, can be helpful, when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try focusing on the positive! Write down a few things that made you happy today or a few things that you're grateful for. Don't let yourself be bogged down by the negative.

10. Clean

This might not work for everybody, but I know that sometimes when I'm feeling restless or anxious, cleaning and decluttering can help clear my mind. Basically, it's just good to find something to put your focus on when your anxious thoughts feel like too much. Try to pick a task and focus on that until you're finished. You'll likely find, in the end, that you feel much better than before you started.

11. Listen to happy and soothing music

Listening to music is a BIG help to some people with anxiety. However, you need to be mindful of what you're listening to. Don't put on the breakup playlist you made when you were 13. Find happy or soothing songs and make yourself a playlist of songs with themes of positivity.

12. Don't bottle up your feelings

This might just be the most important advice I can give you when it comes to handling your anxiety. The worst thing that you can do is to suppress your feelings and try to force yourself to forget about them. Hiding or bottling up your feelings might help temporarily, but that will just make you feel worse in the end. Talk to someone or try one of the other methods I mentioned to face your anxiety, but don't pretend like it doesn't exist.

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