Happy New Year everyone! I hope that each and every one of you had an excellent holiday season, and hopefully an even better 2019.
I know for me that 2018 was one of the most difficult years to date, if not the worst. I experienced even more stress and pressure while being surrounds by bad situations and even worse friends. Not going to lie, some of this is my fault and I take full blame for specific tough times throughout this past year.
However, I did experience the occasional good time. I went on new adventures, explored new ideas on what I want to do with my life, expanded my horizons regarding my interests and hobbies. 2018 could be considered a good year for me from those looking from the outside. For me, however, this year I forgot my self-worth, gave up on my confidence, overstressed myself, and continued almost everything toxic in my life.
Which was, in turn, an extremely bad way to execute what could have a potentially good year.
Nevertheless, I have decided to not dwell too much on the past. I cannot change what has gone wrong already, however, I can change for the better this new year.
My new year's resolution is all about loving myself, which could be considered to be selfish to some, but for a girl who has almost always put other's needs before her own, this is a huge step.
I have decided to love myself unconditionally and unforgivingly. This means that I will no longer doubt my worth because of anyone. I will no longer brush offside comments that I know I internalize. I will no longer put other's wants before my feelings. I will no longer feel or be disrespected in a room full of my "friends".
I will, however, grow confident in myself like I once was and give no effort in trying to impress anyone. I want people to like me for me and if they cannot accept that they need to get out of my life. This isn't meant to have a harsh tone, I am just completely done for being blamed and manipulated by anyone.
I deserve better.
I deserve to love what I love to do. I deserve to trust in the people in my life. I deserve to live my life making my own decisions because you aren't sorry that you've destroyed me on an emotional level, you could care less, regardless of what you think.
Loving myself is my New Year's resolution and I could not be more excited to start!