Maybe my 20 year old self is naive about love and life, but I like to think of myself as an old-fashioned thinker. I try to see the best in people and, yes, sometimes I learn who the person truly is and who they aren’t by who they appeared to be. Call me innocent, or asking for too much, but before actually being with someone I want to know a lot about them. Simple knowledge, such as knowing the person’s favorite seasons or colors means a lot more to me than how much money they make or how good looking they are (not saying that isn’t a plus).
In high school, most of the time, the idea of knowing all of this seems silly. Being in a relationship that lasts more than a couple months means you’re “in love” and a couple months later it comes to an end because of communication issues. I don’t expect someone to tell me their life story before I start dating them, but I expect to know the important parts of their lives that shaped the person they came to be.
In college, everyone is either settled down, “wanting to have fun,” or searching for someone. The funny thing is that the people who don’t want a relationship and just want to have fun are the ones who end up in one. I just wish my generation took getting to know someone more seriously. Social media has destroyed our way of communicating.
Just recently, I met someone who has shown me an old fashion way of getting to know a person. The only way we have been able to communicate is in person and I can honestly say, I’d take that over texting someone non-stop any day. I may not be able to know, yet, exactly how this person has lived their life, but I could tell you a lot more about them then if we started out our relationship like our generation usually does.
I’ve found that things that I used to look for in a relationship don’t matter as much anymore. Someone opening the door for me before I get into the car, is a lot better than telling me how hot I look. Someone telling me the truth about everything they have been through, even if I may not like the sound of it, means a lot more to me than sugar coating a situation to make themselves look better.
Not seeing or talking the person you are starting a relationship with, for a day or two, makes it so much more exciting than knowing their day to day routine (I can guarantee, it’s not that exciting anyway).
What I’m trying to say is, going against what your generation thinks and does is a good thing. Everyone always talks about old-fashioned love stories and how their grandparents or great-grandparents met. Wouldn’t you want your grandchildren to, one day, have the same stories about you? Just because something is old-fashioned doesn’t mean it can’t be brought back, or isn’t valuable. Look at vintage pieces of art -- that’s what I hope my love story will be like one day and if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. Sometimes the perfect love story is with yourself.
